Suspension of Disbelief

It's that time of year again. Those infrequent Christians pack into ancient buildings to thank god for their misfortunes and the promise of a better afterlife. So I sit here now and could ramble about the idiocy of such a lifestyle or the illogicality of religious devotion in general, but I won't. Frankly, it's gotten too much publicity as it is and I have no desire to feed the beast. That said, I will make a few observations. Those who believe in god get to go to heaven. Isn't that like saying those who are faithful to the president get cabinet positions? I prefer a merit-based system myself, you know, where you are rewarded with a position for revolutionary thinking or a little something called skill. But by all means, an all-knowing god would certainly choose the low road. After all, whose god doesn't show favoritism nowadays anyways? How about Noah and his magical ark? You know, the one that he fit two of each animal on? Two animals, one male and one female, of ...

I would now like to tackle a rather heavily contested question. Are our lives predetermined? And, as with most difficult and highly debated questions, there is a simple and even obvious answer. If there are an infinite number of choices in life then predestination cannot exist. We must ask if there is predestination, who knows about it? That is, if our lives are predetermined, someone or something must by definition hold that information. Let's take the religious side first. That is, if we are predestined, then someone or something must know the outcome, otherwise we aren't predestined. There are those who say that God (I'm going to overlook this one) is devoid of time and therefore sees all that will happen. I have to contest however that evidence in the Bible proves this otherwise. God does seem surprised by human action quite frequently. You'd figure he'd have seen it from the beginning and not been too crushed when Adam ate the apple... Anywho... onto (slightly)...

My name is Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and I am your King. To be my follower you must renounce all other authority. To be my follower you must recant the teachings of secularists. To be my follower you must believe that I am good and all else is bad. To be my follower you must reject empirical thought, as my word is law. My word is infallible. My word is eternal and everlasting. My word is the only authority. My word is sacred. My word is to be revered as are those who speak it. Those who speak against me are heretics. Those who deny my teachings are blasphemous. Those who forgo my lessons will be killed. Those who spread my word will be rewarded. Those who die for my cause will be exalted. Those who follow my instruction unquestionably will be saved. Saved are those who follow in my footsteps. Saved are those who cover their bodies. Saved are those who drink not from false prophets. Saved are those who defend the traditions of my nation. Saved are those who pray for my divine grace. Saved are...

This is the reason why God cannot exist.... Question: Can God heat up a burrito so hot that even he cannot bear to eat it? That's all, that's the answer to whether or not God can exist. The answer is no.