I'm really getting sick and tired of fake people. You know at least one of those people, right? The one everyone talks about behind their back. The one that comes home from an uneventful weekend skiing and is dead set on regaling you about how he saved polar bear from certain doom, rescuing him from the path of a falling tree, all the while maintaining perfect skiing form. In addition, he was commended for his bravery in a local paper, slept with six chicks or dudes, and was offered a spot on the Olympic ski team. THAT guy. Well, you know what? Fuck that guy! We KNOW you're lying. If it weren't for the mild amusement we get from trying to figure out what you'll say next, we'd be done with you ages ago. I want to know and respect the person that you really are. Your flaws and shortcomings are part of that person. Come on people, let's get real. Oh and I have another problem. Apparently I'm a problem magnate. Yup. What's that you ask? Ha! Well, it came to...