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My Name is Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and I am Your King

My name is Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and I am your King.
  • To be my follower you must renounce all other authority.
  • To be my follower you must recant the teachings of secularists.
  • To be my follower you must believe that I am good and all else is bad.
  • To be my follower you must reject empirical thought, as my word is law.

  • My word is infallible.
  • My word is eternal and everlasting.
  • My word is the only authority.
  • My word is sacred.
  • My word is to be revered as are those who speak it.

  • Those who speak against me are heretics.
  • Those who deny my teachings are blasphemous.
  • Those who forgo my lessons will be killed.
  • Those who spread my word will be rewarded.
  • Those who die for my cause will be exalted.
  • Those who follow my instruction unquestionably will be saved.

  • Saved are those who follow in my footsteps.
  • Saved are those who cover their bodies.
  • Saved are those who drink not from false prophets.
  • Saved are those who defend the traditions of my nation.
  • Saved are those who pray for my divine grace.
  • Saved are those who denounce the idols of the western world.
  • Saved are those who kill in my name.

My name is Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and I am your King.

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Now replace Mahmoud Ahmedinejad's name with God and reread this passage. Fun huh?

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