Suspension of Disbelief

I really need a drink right now.  Or maybe six. 

I'm not going to be posting much in the way of content tonight.  I've been in a pretty lousy mood today and that doesn't cater to creativity.  Hopefully I shake it off by morning.  I'm not the type of person that's prone to lousy moods, although I do have one hell of a resting bitch face if I do say so myself.  Basically everything about my day irked me in one way or another.  Everyone has those days where literally nothing seems to go the way it should, where you're constantly being bombarded by stupid shit.  Even the customers at work were brutal today for clearly no valid reason.  But, it's over, I won't take it personally, and tomorrow is a new day.  In the meantime, here's a little fun from my all time favorite comedian and the penultimate master of language-- George Carlin.  Incidentally, I did have the opportunity to see him live three times.  He's been gone too long... (  ^^ How I feel about work today ^^ )...

Enjoy!

First, I'm not going to talk about plot or the movie itself.  There are no spoilers described below.  This is because it's not the movie itself that is important, but the role that the movie series had played in my past.  Allow me to explain... I was raised in a very protective, conservative, Catholic family.  Go to church on Sundays, Catholic school, sacraments, the entire thing.  I'm also gay.  (Unsurprising I'm sure if you've read anything I've written in the past.)  Growing up with very controlling parents being a gay boy is very difficult, doubly so because of their religious and political leanings.  I am the oldest child, and in being such also dealt with the worst of my parents' controlling nature.  I knew I was different than everyone else from a very young age, but it wasn't until college that I was comfortable being gay-- hell, I didn't even know what gay was (WHAT I WAS) until high school.  I was very, excruciatingly sh...

Love is a very difficult thing to understand.  The reason for this is because of how our brains are set up.  We have the ability to be both logical and emotional.  Love is not logical.  It is emotional.  Obviously.  So, who we fall in love with, when we fall in love (or out of love), and that we want to fall in love are not easily, logically explainable concepts.  Love does not know logic.  In my experience, it frequently drops in on you unexpectedly (though never unpleasantly). For very logical people such as myself, falling in love can be a somewhat frustrating thing.  It upends your life as you know it.  Your priorities change over night.  You begin to spend a lot of time with someone you probably didn't even know a few days or weeks ago.  Granted I'm speaking about infatuation or "lust" as well.  Love is a progression from interest and infatuation.  It is deeper than any other feeling you'll likely feel in yo...

Again a bit of a pattern.  Songs from what is largely considered the single greatest rock concert of all time and a few earlier concerts. I have to say those shorts had to be painted on I'm sure. Oh well fucking corporations decide to take down the videos, so you only get one here now.

Everyone has at least a vague understanding about who the perfect person for them would be.  Too often though we idealize that person, making them into a caricature of a real person.  The truth of the matter is that no one anywhere is perfect.  We all have our flaws, every one of us.  Whether it's Joanne that likes to gamble too much, Carlos who smokes, Arlo who gets stressed and shuts down, Penny who drinks too much, Luis who can't manage a budget to save his life... on and on and on.  We're all imperfect creatures who are at the same time looking for a perfect person.  In reality we should be looking for the perfect person for us not necessarily a universally perfect person.  Plato's idea of perfect beauty does not exist.  Your perfect spouse, your soul mate if you will, is the person whom despite their flaws you don't want to live without. Why is this?  It's very simple.  As a species we need to stop thinking about these difference...

Tonight's topic is the "walk of shame" or otherwise feeling bad about yourself after sleeping with someone. There are two distinct types of this feeling.  The first is for sleeping with people you think are unattractive.  The second, and more potent, is sleeping with people whom you find very attractive.  Let me elaborate. You meet someone on grindr, tindr, whatever.  You guys decide to get together purely for sex.  One time, no strings attached (good luck with that), and no expectations other than good sex (really though, good luck with that). In Scenario One:  The guy that comes over (or whom you visit) you come to realize is not exactly as attractive as he was in all of the photos he sent you.  Yet, here's a perfectly good and willing cock/ass in the living room now.  What's a guy to do.  Leaving/asking him to leave would be super awkward and besides, you're really horny.  Maybe if you just close your eyes and think of so...

I'm going to tell you the biggest secret about clothes and I'm going to blaspheme and tell it like it actually is.  So gather 'round my gay brothers and I'll share with you the key to all gay fashion. It's very simple, and it's true of straight fashion as well: The person makes their clothes attractive.  Their clothes do NOT make them attractive.  The same pair of jeans on two different people will look much different and wear much different.  They will appear to be more or less attractive depending on who is wearing them.  So look for clothing that promotes your attributes, both physical AND personality-wise.

Everyone should have a plan for where there life is going.  It really goes without saying, but sadly too often people don't know.  You should have short, medium, and long term goals.  Each of these goals you should be on the path to achieving.  It's not a goal if you're not in motion toward it; that's a dream.  So, the following are a few of my goals.  Obviously everyone's goals will be different, but take from them what you can. Short term goals: At the moment I have a good paying job and stability.  Wonderful.  I'd like to continue that in the future.  Maybe not the same job or the same location, who knows what'll happen, but certainly the same career path.  Sometime in the next five years I would like to be a GM again, but in the meantime I am enjoying not having total responsibility for a restaurant.  Again, it may be in the same area, maybe back east, definitely not further west in this state, maybe somewhere else....

Falls under the category of have fun and stop being so serious.  Life isn't meant to be serious.  Have fun with it.

When it comes to love I'm very conventional, a word that probably strikes fear in a lot of gay guys hearts.  So yeah, I'm probably very "boring" to those that want open relationships.  "Dull" to those who want to add a third person.  And "closed-minded" to those who use assorted drugs to make sex more interesting. So be it.  I don't do those things, but here's what I do bring to the table... I am completely monogamous.  My future husband will never ever have to worry about me cheating on him.  Frankly, if I'm in love with someone I don't find others attractive at all.  If you don't believe that the problem lies with you not with what I said. I put my whole heart into a relationship.  If I let a guy into my heart I am the most giving, thoughtful, and romantic person he'll ever know.  I'm very proud of that fact too.  I'm very attentive.  I believe the little everyday things we do to tell each other that we...

I won't claim to be the most well-slept around gay.  At the same time though, I do spend a lot of time thinking about everything, and gay life is no exception to that.  So based on my own experiences and the experiences of those I know, here are 14 things you need to know... 1.  Avoid the most physically attractive guys.  Seriously.  The most physically attractive guys by and large have never had to earn respect from another and have never understood rejection.  They are fawned over and greatly desired.  Because of this, they never develop the skills needed to compliment a body.  They are less inclined to put effort into a relationship because effort is difficult and there are lots of easy fish in the sea.  Likewise, they are less likely to put effort into their own personality.  Again, they simply don't have to do so to get as much ass as they want. 2.  Look for the guy who has endured and overcome hardship. The op...

Fair warning, this post will probably come across as very negative to some people.  It is however my experience with this topic, and that has been quite negative.  Life. Anywho, a "fag hag" is a girl that is good or more often best friends with a gay guy.  And as a rule I do not like them and they do not like me.  This is basically a universal truth in my experiences with them.  I don't think I've found one from any of the gay guys I know that I have gotten along with. The reason behind this is really quite simple.  It is ingrained in the role they play in the gay guy's life and the role the gay guy plays in their life.  She is a facilitator of and justification for poor decision-making.  They are each other's excuse for every bad decision, every drunken hook up, every drug taken, every excessive party gone to, and every unwise action they take.  Because the other was with them that wild Friday night, their behavior was just...

In case you haven't seen my previous posts on the issue in past years, I can't stand visiting "home" for the holidays.  Any holiday.  Frankly, even for an afternoon.  My parents are of course equal parts insane and meddling, like most parents, but they are also very homophobic.  Due to this fact, visiting them is at best mildly frustrating and and worst catastrophic.  If you know me, you know that I don't change who I am for others.  Ever.  No exceptions.  I am who I am and if you don't like it, tough.  That's not to say I'm a terrible person or anything.  Most people enjoy my company.  The problem with family though is quite pronounced. I've reached the point in life where I'm looking for a good man to start a (obviously monogamous) relationship with, settle down with, start a family and a life with, etc.  At the same time, that potential man would never be welcome in my parents' home.  I could never show him where I...

The first... the culminating monologue from the 1940 Charlie Chaplin movie The Great Dictator.  The premise of the movie is that a Jewish barber during WWII accidentally replaces Hitler as the leader of Germany and the Nazi army.  This speech is also the reason why he never worked in Hollywood again.  Apparently mocking Hilter is a bad thing?  In reality it was a fight against fascism.  Perhaps something today we need to keep in mind... The second is about the pettiness of our hatred for others.  I post this in regards to Syrian refugees and the further crisis the US right wing is trying to making out of their displacement.  The photo of the "Pale Blue Dot" is taken from the Voyager space craft.  It is the most distant photo of a visible Earth ever taken.

If there is only one thing you know about dating, sex, relationships, love, the whole gambit, know this: You receive that which you project. Scenario: Every guy that expresses interest in you that you are attracted to is an asshole.  They're all looking out for their own sexual needs, and while you're looking for a relationship and something serious, all they want to do is play. Every guy? Seriously though, sometimes we feel this way.  Sometimes we feel that every guy with which there is mutual interest is WRONG for us.  Regardless of what we're looking for.  Maybe you're looking for guys that want to hook up and you keep finding clingy relationship type guys.  Or possibly (and frankly more likely) the opposite, you want a relationship and the only guys that seem interested in you want your dick and nothing else.  I've been there, you've been there, we've ALL been there at one point or another. Why? As I said previously: You rec...

Not sure why I wanted to post this.  It is a beautiful song about a gay man's desire to find love in the 1980's.  For as many things have changed in 30 years, for as much as we have advanced and shown that we are equal to straight people, this song about the desire to find love, universal to all people of all sexual orientations, remains as strong, as deep, and as unequivocally beautiful.   And one more for those stories that don't always end the way you want them to.  Ok maybe a tad dramatic, but everyone's been there at one point or another.  It is the price you sometimes pay for the chance at finding love.   Yet sometimes you might come across a once in a lifetime person, in whom you find something greater than yourself, that means more to you than anyone or anything, even yourself.  It is a unique kind of magic.

MYSELF I'm in a good place myself.  I am enjoying life more than I had in the past few years.  I feel like I've begun to settle into life in general after college.  It's sort of strange though, as just a few weeks ago I might have thought otherwise.  I had said otherwise.  But, it seems to be true. I've focused more on myself lately.  I don't mean in a selfish way, but that I've spent time assessing life, where I've been, and where I'm going.  A lot has happened in the last three years, from graduating college, to a two year relationship ending, to moving around for work, to work itself.  There has been a LOT of change in my life and as I see it now, also a lack of stability.  But now that this has been addressed I move forward again and I feel that I'm ready and happy to do so, which is a welcome change.  I hope the feeling continues into the new year. LOVE As I said, I'm ready to move forward.  Ostensibly, I have been "...

It's been several years since graduating college.  In that time I've done a lot of different things, been to a lot of new places, met a lot of new people.  But, something is still not completely right.  It's difficult when you spend your entire educational life heading towards a goal, and then when you reach that goal, there's nothing there at all.  It has been very difficult reconciling with the fact that I will never do what I had chosen to do after college, what I had prepared for for all of my educational life so far.  But that's nothing new.  Lots of people don't do what they were planning on doing.  Lots of people find something else that distracts them.  And, that's just fine.   The problem is that I haven't found anything, not that I've found something else.  Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job most of the time (obviously even the most fulfilled person has their off days), but work isn't particularly fulfilling. ...

Modern science takes space and time as one unit... space-time.  This accounts for the affects seen under general relativity and readily observed throughout the universe.  The problem exists however that general relativity breaks down under extreme conditions, that is over the event horizon of a black hole.  I contend that this is the case because we are incorrectly defining what we are seeing. *** The intense gravity of a black hole exacerbates what I believe to be the differences between space and time, which ordinarily work functionally well together.  Space and time are most linked at low speeds.  They are so closely linked that we cannot truthfully tell them apart.  However, as the relative speed of two objects diverges, time literally slows for the faster moving object.  Likewise, this is true as gravity lessens.  We see this everyday as the clocks on computers in orbit run slightly slower than those on the ground.  The same wou...