Everyone has at least a vague understanding about who the perfect person for them would be. Too often though we idealize that person, making them into a caricature of a real person. The truth of the matter is that no one anywhere is perfect. We all have our flaws, every one of us. Whether it's Joanne that likes to gamble too much, Carlos who smokes, Arlo who gets stressed and shuts down, Penny who drinks too much, Luis who can't manage a budget to save his life... on and on and on. We're all imperfect creatures who are at the same time looking for a perfect person. In reality we should be looking for the perfect person for us not necessarily a universally perfect person. Plato's idea of perfect beauty does not exist. Your perfect spouse, your soul mate if you will, is the person whom despite their flaws you don't want to live without.
Why is this? It's very simple. As a species we need to stop thinking about these differences as flaws. That we disagree with the behaviors another takes, doesn't make them flaws, it only makes them flaws in the idealized image of the person that we create in our heads. For this reason, the person that is our soul mate (which is an idealized term in and of itself) is the person for whom their flaws are irrelevant to you. Despite your differences, you love each other and want to spend your lives together. That is what a soul mate is.
Why is this? It's very simple. As a species we need to stop thinking about these differences as flaws. That we disagree with the behaviors another takes, doesn't make them flaws, it only makes them flaws in the idealized image of the person that we create in our heads. For this reason, the person that is our soul mate (which is an idealized term in and of itself) is the person for whom their flaws are irrelevant to you. Despite your differences, you love each other and want to spend your lives together. That is what a soul mate is.
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