Sunday, December 17, 2006

Unwilling-Dystopia 3.0

Since Google now owns Blogspot and reverted everything over to their servers, I was forced to make a few changes. Those changes included the now missing information in the sidebar. As Google likes to control how everything is done, perhaps more than you realize, I can't any longer alter it the way I had from it's original format. So, I may eventually figure out the new template language and how to manipulate Google's widget engine, but until that time, this is what we've got and I'm not going to stress over it. As for the new format in general, that was my change and had nothing to do with Google's meddling.

I would like to pose one question though. At what point does Google become Microsoft? What I mean is at what point does the object of non-conformity become conform itself? Bureaucracy now abounds from Google, and I see the beginning of the end for their success.

As always,

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Mistaken Stupidity

Mistaken stupidity sucks. I'll say it again: MISTAKEN STUPIDITY SUCKS.

It has been the cause of more than its share of hurt. It's started wars even. One leader misrepresents the customs of another and we're a hair's width away from an "international conflict". (We don't call it war anymore.) Of course, the leader probably didn't mean what he said or did, most especially to the affect that it had on the recipient. And now the two nations are at odds over triviality and far be it for me to mediate the dispute behind it.

I am not an unbiased observer in this game of life. I'm sure that at one point or another in my life I've caused others harm with the slip of my tongue. It wasn't intentional of course, just a slip. All I hope is that it was a slip, a mistake I won't soon repeat. For anyone I've wronged this way, all I can give is my apology and hope that in time I will regain your trust. I'm sorry, I truly am, for any such undue harm. There are nicer ways to express one's self than with the forked tongue. I've thought about it long and hard and now can only hope that this error in judgment doesn't start an international conflict.

Monday, December 4, 2006

The Reason Why God Cannot Exist

This is the reason why God cannot exist....

Question: Can God heat up a burrito so hot that even he cannot bear to eat it?

That's all, that's the answer to whether or not God can exist. The answer is no.

Liberal Acquiescence

I want to know where the idea that I should accept everyone's beliefs came from. Yes, yes, I value that they have an opinion and that they are free to believe what they wish, but this should not also entail that I am barred from trying to change their minds. If one is wrong in math or physics do we not correct them? Is it not our duty to correct them? Then why are we forbidden to correct ones mistaken political or ideological beliefs? Some say because there is no absolute answer; but I would charge that neither is morality and the Church seems to like to do quite a bit of persuading. At any rate, it is the duty of all man to make their best attempt at fixing the problems in the world. Only whence we come together and debate and compromise can we make change.

(Compromise of course is progressionary. Neither side gets what they want, but it provides progressives in America a leg up because they now have a basis from which to fight in the future for their absolute goals be those what they may be.)

They say that liberals are supposed to be accepting of others' opinions and beliefs. Why do we let our polar opposites trick us into such a trap? We cannot disagree anymore because we are supposed to be above disagreement and above petty differences in opinion which had led to the backfire of the Enlightenment and the creation of the ideals of "White Man's Burden" by our archaic conservative, reactionary quasi-forefathers whose direct descendants today fear so much the idea that their beliefs are as outdated today as the divine-right monarch's were in the days of their forefathers. Bull shit I say! They will not rob from me my right to dissent! No sir; no ma'am! They will not take from me, from us, the right to mold the future of this world.

I refuse the attempts of our conservative kin to re-animate religious intolerance or use it as a crutch on which to lean as we "liberate" sovereign nations for the monetary profit of conservative-contributor Big Business and Big Oil. They've elected their president on the backs of lowly conservatives and we've got now our thanks, two wars we not only cannot win, but have actually detrimented the very same economic and political position in the world that we were trying to uphold in the first place! We are not safer now; we are less safe. No system, regardless of the trillions of devalued greenbacks we throw at it, is 100% safe. The only guarantee of safety is to learn to co-exist, to have dialogue with those who are different than us. Yet now we have alienated the world with preemptive strikes, abject refusal towards political process, severe violations of international rights mandates and international law, coercion of other nations into a conspiring party whose goal is to imprison people in defiance of international mandates, and mute rejection of dialogue with North Korea. Our president has made this country, our nation, our home, subservient to business interests, a slave to OPEC and Exxon-Mobil, BP, and Orinoco.

We let you convince us that it wasn't our duty to show you the error of your ways and this world in result has alienated all but Big Business and Big Oil CEO's. And STILL you remain convinced of your infallibility. STILL, my friends, you cannot see that you were duped, tricked into political correctness, infighting, and the refusal to action because one may feel hurt or betrayed by our standing up and questioning their views; you felt guilty for belittling them we pitied their stupidity, so much so that those views overtook logical ones, and will continue to do so for years to come!

You were outsmarted, ashamedly no doubt about it, but it was done nonetheless. There was a will and through careful study of your weaknesses, a way; you were shamed akin to the religious shaming of a bygone era! Imagine the reciprocity of trends! What once was long lost (rather disposed of in my opinion) was found anew at the core of our liberal, progressive belief system!

Now that we know the truth, the only thing that matters is what we do with it. Should we continue to deny the impossible, that we, "the elite intelligence", were trumped by the lowly conservatives, tricked by the scum called "Big Business" and "Big Oil", then I fear America is not long for this world. The ideas we stand for are eroding and I propose we halt it. We must be proactive; we must fight back! WE must debate, make OUR point clear! We must take the hard road it's true. We were forced into this place because of our past mistakes and we must fix it NOW, get back on the right track NOW, or soon we will not have the truth on our side anymore. Our rights are being eroded, our ability to fight has one final shot, and this is a battle we MUST win, lest we lose our way of life FOR GOOD!

Thursday, November 9, 2006

Searching for Meaning: Arguments Against Organized Religion

Man will walk the Earth in peace, not however, until the dissolution of religion. It divides us and submits us to another. Man cannot be free of itself until it is free of the slavery of their gods. A time will come when rational thought permeates our thick-headed foolishness.

Gods are the justification of hate, of separation, of inequality. How can one be free of hate, of division, or of inequality when yet they stick to a sectarian community. Divisions in the heart are subject of division in community. And never shall we be free until we think ourselves at heart and in existence equal, thus banishing the sectarian divisions of religious belief.

For the world to be good we must push aside the archaism of this life being a transience between birth and the next life, a way to suffer and earn eternal bliss. Until man focuses on the here and now, we will remain imperfect, we will remain divided, and hateful. Until we decide that this life, be there one after it or not, is worthy of effort, mankind will remain hateful and if there is another life after this present one, continue they have to deny themselves the pleasantries of that life too.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Long Live Blue's Clues

V is for Victory and it's good enough for me. Haha, haha, hahaha. I told you so. True blue through and through. And dispose one bottle of Rum and we're set for a two year Duck season. Just so long as we don't go hunting in mixed company. Liable to get shot. Ah the feeling of a good firing... Two for the Nancy boys and six more in this Op's Ed. And remember never to count on a Red Virgin you'll always draw short. Long live Blue's clues.

Monday, November 6, 2006


What is man but the culmination of all their actions? We are what we make ourselves. No one can make these decisions for us. We believe what we choose to believe. We like what we choose to like. Hate what we choose to hate. We are influencible yes, but not stuck to conforming to that influence. In the end, we must make a decision and that decision guides who we are and who we will become. This is the person that others see in you and the person that they like or hate. That said, vote tomorrow. Vote for the way that your children will see you and your peers. Vote for the way you want to be perceived. Just vote.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Rantings of a Mad Man Part XI: Diatribe of a Blind Man

Man is set with his vices, stationary with his opinions and firm in his beliefs. We are a people of ancients. We rather the tried and true (or not so true so long as tried) path than set out and create our own way. Our biases are centuries old and our mindsets older still. Man is still trapped by the mistakes of its past and continues to make them relentlessly into the present. Friendly skies flown the wrong direction are more traveled than stormy ones headed the right.

No one said change was easy. Yet as time passes, man's grasp of certain archaic principles will become increasingly unseemly to those of us who break with tradition and form our own paths.

Religion, marriage, sexuality, superstition, and traditional values akin to these are up for grabs and I'm the merchant. Religion is the pacifier of the masses; it excuses the actions of leaders and trendsetters as they say: "This life is imperfect and must be tolerated. The next life will be great."

The problem remains that this life is imperfect because people look to the next, take the easy way out, and are pacified into complacency.

Marriage and sexuality (the expression and kinds of love) are dictates from religion. The sanctity of marriage. Sexuality is reprehensible and many times abnormal and immoral. These are the guilts brought on by religion. They are means of control, ways to push religion into people's lives. Marriage is a shackle and a safety net, a double-edged blade whose good justifies its bad. This makes it ever tricky. Sexuality is the expression of love. Religion promotes moderation, moderation of love. This diminishment of love is perhaps the greatest crime of all.

Superstition is a queer sort of concept and proves that man is capable of fighting the confines of religion. Superstition conveys the innate belief that there is something extraneous to gods or religious beliefs. This may very well become the fall of monotheistic religion and there upon contemplation, the fall of all religion. Man will notice that superstition will overtake gods and religious belief. It will become clear that nothing changes. The world will not end; we will not become profoundly unlucky; karma will not kick us in the teeth. And there our eyes will open and we will see our views of religion as they have been since prehistoric times a fallacy and a means of control of the meek by the powerful and the dominating.

The men of theses traditional values travel the lighted path and in the wrong direction. I travel the path of darkness, an unknown path on which I do not float but careen. A race in the darkness I plow through picking up as much knowledge as I can as I go. My understanding of this new path is not complete, surely not as yours of the beaten path. But my knowledge is worth more, as it is the ideas of man's future and not his past misconceptions manifested continuously on his present.

In short, I am a blind man in a dark world. I am unable to see all that I experience and comprehend even less. Yet you are a blind man in a world of light. To be blind alone as to the future of my path, though unhelpful, is not nearly as bad as being blind of one's own mistakes in a light that is six billion persons strong.

I am blind but I am not a follower. You can see yet you are enslaved to the ideals of the herd. Ergo, I am the future and you are the past. The only question remains is how long it will be before I can pull you from the herd, or more threateningly so, see for myself in the darkness. Then man will be free of his past. Only then shall we all truly see.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

A Short List of Delectable Quotations

"Think of competing ideas as elements on the periodic table. One replaces another, replaces another and the atomic number rises the element becomes heavier and more dense. And, as with elements, it is clear that there then comes a point where each competing idea becomes less and less stable holding increasingly less validity for an ever shorter amount of time."

"The purpose of government is solely to protect the rights of its people. Government ceases to govern and begins to tyrranize when the intentions of its officials overrun the rights of the people living in their nation."

"There comes a point where ones former oppressors or the members of a formerly oppressive party have moved on from their flaws and isms and it is from there the downtrodden must learn to move on or else continue to downtrodden themselves."

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Un-selfishness of Man

Man feels good when he does charitable deeds be them large or small. Some believe this to be itself an act for self-pleasure. That is, one does charitable work for their own selfish reasons. That may in fact be true, insofar as people could use this device to attain pleasure, but I pose the question: Why does the feeling exist in the first place? Why do we feel good when we do good deeds? Why not just feel good when we help ourselves? In a world where nature tends towards simplicity, it seems out of place that this sort of self-pleasure by charity should exist.

I believe when this feeling was created(or selectively survived evolution) the simplest reason for its continued existence is in the first action, the charity, that perhaps the second action, pleasure, is only a means to ensure that the first takes place as part of some epicurean or animalistic mind set remnant of our earlier days, like orgasm and procreation.

However orgasm is not the reason civilized man has children; children being the sole biological reason for sex; the reason is love. Thereby, I believe that the sole reason civilized man gives charity is love for others and not for personal gain.

The final question remains: Why is this important? Well, it is important because I believe it proves that man does not do things for personal pleasure but because they have a genuine desire to help others.


AMENDMENT: People claim that humans have sex for pleasure. This is inherently faulty however. The reason that two people usually have sex is for love, the connection between two people. Some do have sex for pleasure, but a majority of man, I think you will agree, has sex for reasons tied to love (perhaps even giving pleasure to their partner).

AMENDMENT II: People claim that emotions and human reason are abstract, unidentifiable concepts. However, they are not. I'm of the firm belief that their is nothing to a person that is not materially in their body. Logic dictates this. Nothing can exist without existing by the very definition of the term. Faith does not make something true or false. Only hard evidence can prove the existence of something not rhetoric and idealistic conversation.

AMENDMENT III: People claim that there are no absolutes, that likewise man cannot be defined in such. This is correct. Perhaps there are some out there whose goal is to derive self-pleasure, consciously or subconsciously, from charity. I believe however, that they are the exception to the rule, not the rule themselves. As I stated, nature tends towards simplicity.

AMENDMENT IV: I acknowledge the possibility that this feeling like orgasm is reminiscent from pre-historic man.

AMENDMENT of AMENDMENT II: Contrary to possible assumptions, this article itself is not nulled by the argument presented in AMENDMENT II. One is able to theorize reasons behind a physical existence (i.e. deduce the reason something exists), though as I said not the physical existence itself. Theorizing cannot make something exist or cease to exist.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Darkness

We never understand that which we need.
We never realize that which we desire.
We are alone and in darkness in our lives,
Plowing into the future, blinder than blind.
We make it up as we go,
We think on our feet.
Why not, what've we got to lose,
Only our lives.

Yet it works somehow,
Day by day, our lives stretch by,
Cloaked in darkness, blinded by sight.
We find illumination in ourselves
To light our way
And all is good.

Happiness and depression,
Anger, rage, compassion, and love
Fear, trepidation, caution,
Expedition, daring, and bravery.
All in the darkness that we see.
Never before and never after,
Everafter we walk in darkness,
The darkness of our own design.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Just a Reminder

The Massachusetts primary elections are tomorrow, Tuesday, September 19th 2006. So get off your lazy asses and vote. Or quit complaining.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Rantings of a Mad Man Part X: The Decade Mark

Hopefully this is of a better quality than Jason X...

I know it's been a while since the last time I posted. But school's school, and I hope that's good enough. As for TheDiscountedMonkey I wish him all the best in Europe. And I can't wait for you to come to your senses and keep posting so at least I don't have to sit here and talk to myself.

That said... I had about a pound and a half of Jujyfruits today, and I'll tell you if there's a gassier cinema snack then be it a plague on mankind and housemates alike.

ESPN's Monday Night Football isn't going so great. Really? Do I remember caring? Let me check... Nope, didn't think so. Serves the NFL right for getting greedy.

I'm still eating the damn Jujyfruits! Fuck!

I've got one for you: When you've got a moment check out Tropicana's "Strawberry Orange" Juice. You'll never forget it, I'll just say that.

Life is so simple to live, yet so complicated to live.

I can quote more lines from The Simpsons than from the Constitution or the Bible or anything.

I've noticed that if I have cable I watch less TV than if I don't.

I've noticed that birds only crap on new cars. That's why mine has 190,000 miles and never gets washed. Well, either that or I'm poor and lazy.

The trees have started to change colors. Fuck that. Although I always wondered why we didn't change colors in the autumn and lose our hair or ears or something. Maybe like moose lose their antlers, we'd lose our balls and grow back larger ones next year. No? Well based on the success of those enlargement pills, I'd think it'd be a good idea.

There is no realistic reason why King of the Hill should still be on TV.

If I had all the time in the world I'd use it to do exactly what I want, nothing. Why? Because I have all the time in the world, why waste it all doing everything up front?

Why did everyone get all bent out of shape about boobgate? I mean seriously, if no one ever showed the clip again, you know like in real slow motion pixelating it as she popped out, then no one would've cared. I know. I saw the original, when it happened. And you saw nothing, too bad yes, but still nothing. And now the FCC thinks it's doing me a favor by repressing that sort of thing? Let me just add that if anyone really wants to do me a favor, depixelate that slow motion shot and leave me in a dark room. Thanks.

I want the right to arm bears.

Unfortunately, in making peace we only determine that again someday there will be war.

Why are some dictionaries smaller than others? Shouldn't a dictionary have all words of a given language in it? More so, who sits down and recalls all these words? Or is it a team effort?

Just remember, this weekend, if the van is a rockin', the Sox are losing.

Paper or plastic? Why not just pack all of it loosely in the car? It's cheaper and more eco-friendly.

Why are there more cars in this country than there are people able to drive them?

Why does it get colder when it rains and warmer when it snows?

I've stopped caring about hurricane season. It's stupid.

I know dogs fart; do cats?

A man must walk down six roads of at least three hundred rods in length to be officially called a man.

I stole the cookie from the cookie jar. Yes me. Has to be. I was there.

How many different releases of Star Wars are there going to be? Yet, I know that those sorry-ass nerds out there will buy them all. There should be a sex test to buy those things to prove that you're worthy. I say it's got to be third base or better or nothing doing. Oh who am I kidding, the only thing any of them ever got to third base with was when they ran the bases backwards in tee-ball.

George Lucas and Ann Coulter are both virgins. I'd put money on it.

I don't remember if I asked this before but, why do different bottled waters taste differently? ...Come to think of it, I'm sure I've asked that before.

Calculus is pointless to the common man.

Who knows if two snowflakes really aren't alike? Is there a council on this. Oh, now I remember. It's the National Snowflake Association. The NSA. But why are they wiretapping? No wonder we don't know where Osama is.

Fritos claim to be the original corn chips. They're the original? How long's the company been around? I'm certain that right now there's a little old Spanish lady sitting in line in an American embassy to file papers to sue them. But don't worry, this is the U.S. government, Frito Lay's got at least a decade before it reaches the right people.

Old people reflect fondly on the past, grumble about the present, and say that the future generation is going to hell. I wonder if anyone's ever studied this. Just a thought.

I've never had a bad day after eating Lucky Charms. Correlation?

Light toast and weak tea does not a good meal make.

Toasters claim to have a medium setting. But I think they're just covering up that it's either light or char. I smell a law suit. ...No wait! That's fucking burnt toast!

Depression meds cause people to commit suicide? You'd think they'd pull those drugs.

I hate white sand beaches. When the sand's all gritty and dark you can't tell where the other guy's dog took a piss.

I should think that cat's would love the beach. Maybe that's why there were so many in Egypt. Then again most of them were ugly ass cats. Inbreeding I suppose, that's why it doesn't have any fur.

Why don't guys go bald on their faces?

Is a gun really protection if everyone has one? I say be the one who doesn't and find out for yourself.

Good oral sex sucks the big one.

Damn, chickens must breed like rabbits. But if rabbits breed like rabbits, why don't we eat more rabbit. Betcha it tastes like chicken.


Alright that's all I've got. G'night.


Sunday, September 3, 2006

Just Life

I know I don't have all the answers. Hell I don't even understand half the questions. It nags at you and try as you might you can't scratch the itch. I always thought I had a pretty good grasp on what life was all about, I really did, well, better than most did anyways. I thought I had all the answers and I'd solved all the questions. But that nagging itch remained. Well it's more of a lead weight I suppose than an itch.

I've had all summer to wonder about life and love and happiness and all that stuff, but I've come out of it worse than I've gone in. Sucks, it really does. But, in a way it's satisfying to know, looking back, how far I've come. I'm still not genuinely happy about everything yet, but I'm resigned to it not being so. And good for that, I suppose one is only completely happy when life has been lived and is over. At 19, that would be one of the worst things to happen.

I do conflict over a few little things too. I've always said, if only to myself, that I'm not long for this world. Not that I'd do anything stupid or something. But, I've always kind of expected that I wouldn't be in it for the long haul. Then again there's the part of me that wants to stick around and finish my book and watch my family grow up and move on. There's a big part of my mind that wouldn't give up on living, wouldn't accept that fate, even if it did manifest itself. A part of my mind doesn't ever want to die and part thinks that it's far overdue.

I mentioned that I'd like to live to see my family grow and move on. I didn't mention myself. And I didn't mention a spouse or children. And there we come to conflict two. I do mean it when I say I so completely want to be the most kickass grandfather in the history of man. Oh, you'd better believe I'll say what I believe and believe what I say. And I definitely want to show my parents up by having kids and being a whole hell of a lot better to them than they've been to me. I do want that, even more than life itself sometimes. There's the part of me that just wants to hug and hold my kids as babies, watch them grow and help them along their way. But then there's the other part of me that looks to the future and sees me alone. Not lonesome or something, just alone, having never married, having never had children. Content with the quiet and single life. Alone. In a good way. If you can understand that.

It's maddening! It really is. I can't understand it. And, modesty aside, I understand most things quite easily. I look at the here and now and dream of the future and desire that it falls into place of it's own accord. Yet I know that given the chance I'd do anything I could to guide it along.

Just when you think you've got it all figured out, you realize you've got comparatively nothing done next to the new things that popped up. Every time the biggest questions get answered in my head others pop up, sometimes even old ones again. It's maddening!

Some nights my head gets bogged down so badly with this stuff that I lie there in bed for hours just trying to make sense of all of it. Because that's when it all comes to me, isn't it. Right when I have to get to bed. These are the sort of silly thoughts that pop up when you're at your weakest... Damn, there I go again. Let me start over... These are the sort of silly thoughts that pop up when I'm at my weakest, most penetrable. And I'm not talking about suicide. Not ever. I'm talking about baseless insecurities and fears. Things that'll rob from me the little good that I have in my life. Stupidity is what it is. Sheer stupidity.

I now believe that the only people who are truly sane are those who are completely insane. Those who break the mold that we've sunk ourselves, I've sunk myself, into for all these years. I look back to when I was eight or ten and things were so much simpler then. We never wondered whether something someone said had some hidden meaning behind it, questioned ourselves, had baseless fear run rampant through our minds... my mind at its weakest points. Insecurity, that's what it is. I don't trust people. Then again, how could I. The things I've seen and felt detrimented that. My past drives me mad every day. Every day. And that little voice that manifested itself back in those days still shines through at times. It pours doubt and fear into me. It fights back the ages for which I've tried to kill it. And it fights dirty.

But, so do I. They say that there are no atheists in the foxholes. Well, perhaps that's true. But I don't think it has anything to do with a god or a religion. In the trenches they are stripped of their happiness, their love, of everything that is good for them. They face the same harsh reality that I face many-a-day. Every painful, fearful, embarrassing, hurtful event in their lives flash past their eyes, perhaps unbeknownst them even. All they can focus on is fighting it, fighting to stay alive. Fighting for their lives. I too fight for my life. Not literally, figuratively. I fight every day to push away doubt and depression, fear and pain. I push as hard as I can and then some more. Because I have to. Because I refuse to relive my past. I refuse to let it keep me down. I refuse.

I'm stubborn, and it knows it. That's why it hasn't got to me yet. Why I could never really let it get me for that long. I'm just to goddamned stubborn. So, I'm heading back to school tomorrow and back to a world which I much prefer. Yet I can't help but wonder what the future holds, even as early as twelve hours from now. I can only wonder. But come what may, and I know that there I have it better than anyone here ever thinks they deserve. But that's not going to stop anything, not a damn thing. I'll move on, and too answer more of my questions and in doing so add even more, but such is life, and I'm content with living mine. And that is the bottom line motherfucker!

Monday, August 28, 2006

August 29th 2005

I know that I haven't given this much of my time over the past year, but now I believe it is more than necessary to add my two cents.

It is the responsibility of the media to report the news. It is their only job. And even they failed. Sure day after day they spoke of the horrors of hurricane Katrina. But, they did not do their job. They did not hold our politicians to the fire. They sensationalised. They used this disaster for their own means, to further their ratings. How dare they. They had the ability. They had the requirement. They were given fish in a barrel and continued to fish the sea. They need to learn that we are not playthings used for ratings. We are not tools for the board members money making schemes. Each and every one of us were failed that day and it's ensuing weeks and months. They've shown where their loyalties lie. Apparently we can put a price on human life.

It is the responsibility of the government to protect its people, not only from abroad, but also from internal stressors. Hurricane Katrina was a freak accident. But in it, they failed us too. It is the responsibility of the United States government down to its lowliest members to work for the American people. To say that they will and to put funds towards it is one thing. But to actually act and to make progress and calm disaster victims. To say to do and to do are different things entirely. And you've failed us all. Our government has made sacrifices against the public discourse for years. Cutting budgets here and there, but nothing too distinct. After all, who would've thought this could happen? But they knew it could happen, or the money would've existed in the first place. They took our money and funded an unsuccessful war on foreign soil. They built a 200 million dollar bridge in Alaska. They cut taxes. They cut federal funding of educational loans further dividing the upper and lower classes. They did this. And many of you voted for them. They made the choice not to give proper attention to New Orleans because it would mean giving less attention to their war, less money to their causes. After all, what are the lives of a few thousand poor people? They don't pay much in the way of taxes, sucking money from public services. And the government is better off without you (so long as you already voted for them). It was win-win for them. So now why don't you tell them what you really think of them? That's your job too.

It is the responsibility of every person in this country to help their fellow man for the betterment of all mankind. It may not be a law, but shouldn't have to be. Looters. Thieves. Scam artists. The whole lot of you. You are what's most wrong with this country. You were there. You could've helped. But no, you make off with someone's TV or computer and let others suffer and die for your selfish act. No one, NO ONE who profited from the disaster has any right to anything that this nation has. You are lower than the lowest. The bottom of the barrel is higher than you. Why? Didn't you take a look around while you were fishing jewelry out of someone's basement? There they were, the bottom of the barrel, the dregs of mankind to some, fighting for life and for their families lives. Racism? Perhaps this has some merit. Classism? Surely this does. But titles and excuses aside, weren't they just people? People just like you? And you decided to prey on them. That's what you did. Preyed on them. You are the reason that over 1,836 people died that day. If you had worked together with your fellow man what could you have done? Came together? Found food and shelter? Medicine? Dignity? Yours is the fate of those covered in white sheets along the side of the road. Yours is the destiny of those who were victims of crime and plunder. Yours is the end of those who suffered more than anyone should ever have to suffer. Yours is ignorance and greed, destitution and disease that has plagued this nation for too long. You've failed us all and you've failed yourselves.


In the end we must ask ourselves what has been learned. Learned? Surely those who suffered and survived have learned a thing or two, but what about the rest of us? Has America really learned anything at all?

As a result of August 29th 2005 strides in the fight against discrimination should have been made. They have not. The government should have realized that their preparedness is lacking and fixed that. They have not. Foreign wars should have been ended so that our National Guardsmen and Guardswomen could come home and protect the homeland from disaster, man-made and natural. They have not. News companies should have moved away from sensationalism and instead promoted the general welfare of the public. They have not. Help should have been given free of charge to all those who needed help. They have not received that help. And this government should have been thrown out of office for dereliction of duty. And it too, has not.

What may have happened if we had the resources and the manpower to resurrect New Orleans on August 30th, I don't know. But I do know that not trying, and not being able to are undeniably the biggest failures in the history of this nation. We ALL should be ashamed of ourselves.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Retracting My Thanks to the Yankee Fans

Upon perusing the sports networks this past weekend, I'd rather pretend I never thanked Yankee fans for anything. In fact, I will go so far as to suggest that they shut their big damn pie holes and let me do the booing. I can't help but wonder if my action towards the fans in the previous week had led to the occurrences of this past weekend. To ensure that it never happens again I'd like to reiterate: FUCK YANKEE FANS! FUCK THEM ALL! FUCK THEM IN THE ASS! FUCK THEM HARD! FUCK THEM ALL NIGHT LONG! FUCK THEM RAW! ...And so forth.

As always,

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A Horse's Bush

This just in, and it's about time too, I-TOLD-YOU-SO. That's what I have to say about the NSA's stateside wiretapping program. Just today a federal judge declared the actions of the NSA and it's authorization by George W. Bush to be completely unconstitutional and therefore completely illegal under any and all circumstances.


That's all I've got to say about that. I win you lose.

And that brings me to the other issue I want to talk about... Earlier today in Ohio, an Amish horse and buggy got into a little mishap with an oncoming vehicle. The horse, spooked, jumped out into traffic, rolled up onto the hood and sent four passengers in the car and two in the buggy to the hospital. No where in the report however did they question the health or wellbeing of the horse, which leads me to believe that they shot it. Do the Amish shoot horses? I don't know. Oh well.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Yankees Stadium?

So, I thought I'd never say this but here goes. Thank you Yankee fans. ...Well those that booed President Bush's message put on the big screen during yesterday's game congratulating them on building a new stadium.

But to get back to my normal mode, why the hell is Little George building a new stadium anyways? Oh wait, he thinks it'll get NY's minds off the fact that they can't win in October. Poor NYC, poor, sad NY'ers. I'd've figured they'd been used to it with the Mets. No? Oh well. Too bad.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Be Happy

For the one hundredth post here on unwilling-dystopia, I just wanted to say a few things. Hopefully they're more uplifting than my usual dribble.

Concentrating on living life is far more important than trying to find the answer to all of life's big questions. Sure now and again it's nice to wonder about the origin of life or religion or life after death or something like that. But it's far more important to live life than to understand it. Just live and you'll be happy. Let come what may and work through it as you hit sticky spots. But never give up trying and never let life get you down.

I've said many a time that there are things that I've seen or experienced that I wish I hadn't. And many times when I'm in a mood I wish that I could turn back the clock and change these things.

Pain is not what life is about; so don't focus on it. Have fun. Take a walk. Hang with friends. Go to the beach. Do something you find enjoyable. And do it now while you're still young, and if you're no longer that young, still do it now before you get older.

The only limits on your happiness are your own personal fears. We must not let them get the better of us. We wage a constant war on our fear and we have to win if we want to be happy. But don't worry, we can all win. We can all be happy.

There is no one path to life, no one way to do anything. Don't let anyone tell you that the way you're doing it is wrong or improper or sinful or morally reprehensible. You listen to your heart and do what you want to do. From sunrise to sunset do what you want to do.

Let us all live together in happiness and harmony. There is a no more powerful, happy, fulfilling feeling in life than love. Indeed to be loved is the greatest gift you can receive. And it's far too rare today. So let's all try and love someone today, whether it be a spouse, family member, friend, or stranger. Then the world will be a better place and you'll be happy too.

Friday, August 4, 2006

Time Off

Well, I'm going on vacation next week so I won't be around. I'll leave DiscountedMonkey free reign as he continues to tell his story. So, I'll be back in a week, and til then and always FlyFreeForever.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Odd Ends

Oh don't we just love our icons and leaders? Mitt Romney and Mel Gibson first. Isn't it just nice to understand how far we've come from the 1950's. So very nice. Racism AND ethnic slurs. Beautiful isn't it. Just makes me want to machine gun people. At least I was right in my pessimism all along, that our country consisted of a few enlightened souls and a whole shitload of idiotic, tactless propaganda inboxes.

And that brings me to Condy Rice. Isn't she just a spectacular diplomat? What ARE her qualifications? And she's going back and forth to the Middle East and around the world for us? Fuck, no wonder we're as screwed as we are.

With that said, let us all rejoice in the two term limit. I know they made it because of a liberal, but at least it'll go to good use.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Lifting a Weight Off My Heart

Many months ago, around New Years, I announced my resolution for the year and that I wanted to begin with a clean slate for 2006 whereby I carpet-forgave everyone who had ever hurt me, ever did anything to me at all, bar only one person, who at the time I could see no feasible way to forgive.

But I've had a lot of time to sort through things over the past 101 days and I figured it was time to finish this little one off for good. For one, when they dwell on the past, does not live, does not evolve, is stuck in essence in a rut unwilling to let go on the has-beens and what-ifs of our life.

**I would also just like to say right here and now that I don't care who reads this. It is personal, yes, very much so, but it is to my benefit for those who know me to know this little bit of very personal information. So please read on. And by all means never think that I'm unwilling to talk to you about any of it.**

So here it goes in probably the most personal thing I've ever wrote:

To Dad, (I dare not say dear of course, because you were never really dear to me)

Since Day One you have made my life a living hell, one nightmare after another after another and I can't stand it anymore. I'm moving on. I no longer have the energy or desire to give a damn about our little fight. It just doesn't matter anymore. I've learned a few things in the past months, true happiness, compassion, love, fear, embarrassment, and more. The real emotions not the contorted ones you procure.

For my entire life you have impeded my wellbeing. Your verbal, emotional, and yes at times physical abuses took place for years, for years before I was able to defend myself. But I can defend myself now, as you no doubt have realized. And soon enough, I will do for myself exactly what I should've done years ago. Move on.

I understand that not all of it is your fault totally. You grew up I know, under much the same condition, an occurrence I personally could trace back four generations. Four generations of inexcusable, irresponsible, detrimental, horrendous behavior. I know that you were a victim of some of the same that you have now put me through. I know this, better than you realize.

You are stunted emotionally. But even after all you've done to me, I've not lost quite everything you have. And I'm fixing the damage feverishly that you did do to me I might add. You have a problem expressing love and a severe issue with anger management. You are not good with people of any age. I know this; I've lived it. For nineteen years I lived it. Did I ever live it! And miraculously I survived too.

Our fights were monumental. I don't think anyone reading this could ever truly understand how they really were. Not even close. I can't remember the number of times I lost my voice and beyond. I can't count the hours of wasted life. I can't even begin. I've left years of my life in wake of these fights. I know it and you know it. No one else could possibly know exactly what I mean, having not seen the end result of one of our bigger goes. But it happened, and I daresay it's left me more mentally scarred than you could ever understand.

But I'm not writing this to describe the activities of two people who's combined hardheadedness has dented walls, scared neighbors and children, and emotionally enclosed members of our own family. I know that you care but that you are unable to express it most of the time. I won't end up that way. I will never lay a hand on any of my progeny or mate(s). I will not. I can't, and ironically, you've in doing everything that you've done to me given me the only foolproof defense against it. The greatest fear I have is that one day for even one millionth of a second that I'll turn out just like you. But I won't let that happen. I will not continue this course; I will not force onto my progeny the error of your ways and your inability to control yourself.

I do fear one other thing though, I it's coming true before my eyes. And this scares me more than anything else. My brother is continuing it. He is and I can't stop it. He's turning into you. And now I've got one duty left to this line of emotional dysfunction, to be that much more immune, that much more diligent, that much more present, and to some how some way find a way to break down the walls he's erected as I once nearly did. I don't know yet what I'm going to do, but believe me I will find a way. I have to find a way before he does something to someone else again.

I know that if you ever see this letter that you will not understand what I mean. I don't think you ever could. Not really. But it's reason is not for your personal wellbeing, but for mine. I'm going to beat the damage you've inflicted. You better believe it. And then I'll stop it from being spread through my brother. And then, if I can, I will come help you if for the very least my mom can be happy again.

But for now I have to finish fixing the damage you inflicted on me, which I have suspicion was worse than to either my brother or sister, and to correct this dysfunction I have to say this:

I forgive you. I forgive your shortcomings and your inability to express emotion properly. I forgive you for the damage you've inflicted on me, the likes of which few will ever truly understand. I forgive you for ruining my childhood. I forgive you for introverting my personality against it's wishes. I forgive you for thinking that school grades are paramount to happiness and for convincing me the same for so many years. I forgive you for ever laying a hand on me in anger or under the guise of punishment. In short I forgive your for your parental and emotional inaptitude.

So now I've said what I wanted to for my benefit. But I also want to give you one warning. One very serious and dire warning. If you ever lay a hand on a member of my family EVER again, so help you because there is nineteen years of shit that a less civilized me would love to return in kind. And know that I am stronger than you. I am tougher than you now. And you cannot intimidate me. Just keep that in mind if ever you decide to strike out at my family again.

Sincerely, (as I do literally mean)


That's Life, and an Excuse

We all go through periods where we hurt, where we suffer under the weight of our unapologetic minds. We see every worst case scenario play out in our mind's eye. Death, pain, loss... the whole shebang. ("She bangs! She bangs!" Damn that made me smile. Only on Fox.) We sit and dwell on every horrible thing, every painful word of rejection. Everything hurts. And nothing matters anymore. Nothing. How could life carry on? How could we carry on with so much pain building up inside? We just want to curl up and die.

Some have it worse than others. We just want it to end. Just end. It hurts. It really really hurts sometimes you know. It feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on your chest. You can't breath. You can't speak. You can't even think. You are drowning in a pool of pain and suffering. And there is no chance to surface again.

We hurt because we care. And, not being too boastful I hope, some of us care more than others. Care so much that it hurts. Yes it hurts too. Lots of things hurt. And then the whole day spirals out of control. Down and down. And down. Deep into depression. Into pain and suffering.

Lots of people have it, yeah they do, depression. But that doesn't make it any less painful to endure. No less long. Or acute. Or unexpected. It hurts. I know. Oh do I ever know. But, I also know that there is a lot of love in the world. Oh yes, a lot. And we've only got to get up and find it. Or hope that it finds us. Though that does take longer. Not everyone cares as much as we do. Not nearly everyone. Not with war. And genocide. And rape. And the lot. There are even those among us who are so full of themselves that they don't bother to care for others. I know. I've met my share of them. Oh hell I have. And I can't do a damned thing about it. Believe me, I've tried. Oh hell I have.

Depression is a personal thing and no one can truly understand it. Understand this and you will be well off. But that doesn't me that you can't give us all a little nudge every now and then. That always helps too. You know, we'll be okay soon. Just give us some time and it'll pass. It always does. Oh hell it does. Thankfully it does.

Just remember that you hurt for one reason and one reason alone: Because you care. If you didn't care, you would not hurt. And those that care the most, hurt the most. Isn't that a nice Catch 22. And you know who the best people to talk to if you're depressed are? Us you fool! Those of us who understand what it's like most. And we can help each other all over the world! And know that you are not alone and that there are people, many people, out there who care deeply for you regardless of what you ever say or do. That will NEVER change. NEVER! And we'll all be waiting for you on the other side.

Spare a Second?

Starting to write is the hardest part. After the first line sometimes you just sit there for a long while staring at the page. Staring. Staring. Staring. Get up get a drink. Watch some TV. Come back. Fuck it's still just a single line. But you want to do it, you REALLY do! But you can't. You can't think. ...Well actually you can think, just of everything other than what you want to talk about. Just like me right now. I wanted to talk about depression, but here we are another blog almost complete and I've yet to begin.

I don't have the answers. Really, if I did I wouldn't be writing this right now. I'd be writing what I meant to say. But I guess as the end comes into focus, I'll have to content myself with knowing that eventually I'll get around to it. Just not now. Now, even though I still want to, I'm going to stop. I REALLY don't want to, but I will. It's just the way it always is. I can't help it. Just thought you'd like to know that there was someone else out there that procrastinates as much as you undoubtedly are doing for you actually are reading this post and got to this point where even negating a strong case of bull shit, you are still reading. And that said, we come to the end. Procrastinators rejoice!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Crazy Bitch

It's come to my attention that some people think I'm a little crazy. Well, let's clear the air: I am. Just a teensy bit. Somewhere deep down. Well, actually, it's rather close to the surface. In fact, sometimes I seem to emit it, so deep down would be a bit of a stretch.

But you know, when it comes right down to it, I don't care. It just doesn't matter, I've got better things to do. Cause, in the end don't we all just want to be happy? I do. And if you're in my way, I'll just have to nudge you a bit. You know, a friendly tap, knock you back on track, get the gears moving again.

The important thing is to enjoy life with the people you like and when it's all over you'll have no time for reminiscing because you'll still be living life up to the very end.

Sunday, July 23, 2006


If the world were perfect there would be no reason to fear. There would be no reason to fight. Or to hurt another. Each and every one of us wants this "utopia" of ours to exist. Each and every one of us desires to have their utmost hidden desires fulfilled. And, barring a few exceptions, they should be fulfilled. Of course we'd leave genocidists and con artists back. And rapists and thieves. They need some extra attention. (Author's note: Hold that thought for next time.)

Then we all gather together and agree not to discriminate and not to hate. Those who wish to do such, need not apply.

We agree to respect the privacy of others and their rights as human beings regardless of race, creed, orientation, sex, ability, socio-economic status or any other divider society could think up. All those who disagree can again remain behind.

Then we agree, in accordance with the above, that everyone is equal. There are no exceptions.

We agree to dispose of crime in all it's forms because it restricts society's advancement.

We do not infringe on the right to religious beliefs, however we restrict those beliefs to private settings and in doing so bar them from public affairs. Religion has no place in law. None. Religious morals will not dictate laws as that is in essence the tainting of society with the beliefs of single persons (the religious founders) and the obstruction of true equal representation. All people deserve equal representation and a single document greatly increases the power of it's writers and their influence on society.


The creation of laws must be of popular consent. That is, each law comes from the pool of all people, is defended by it's writer, and accepted or rejected by all people. There is no debate in the traditional sense. There is no changing a proposed law to sway voters. A law is as presented and unchanged for vote. The creator of the bill is allowed to defend his proposal and criticizers are allowed to do the same. Anyone can criticize. The bill however is defended only by it's creator. No one person may have more than 1% of all the bills proposed in a single year as represented by the previous year's number of bills.

All lawmaking will be broadcast on live television with a previously determined schedule (24 hours before at least), based upon a first-come first-serve order system. In the event of an emergency, laws may be brought up out of order only upon a vote of all those proposing bills that day. If the motion carries, then the bill is read and voted upon. Every person has the right to fight against the passage of a bill. They need only arrive in the lawmaking chamber before the bill is read. Or, in the event of being unable to arrive in time, they may attend the meeting via telephone or video conferencing. Bills pass when and only when 60% of voters agree. Voting may be done in person or over the internet by every person in the nation. One may only vote once naturally. Votes are collected for one hour after the initial voting process begins and absentee voting is allowed for up to a year after the bill is initially voted on. The bill becomes law one hour after the first vote is counted if 60% is achieved, but may be nulled if a sufficient number of votes are accrued afterwards to bring the total under 50%.

With the exception of this constitution, laws are total. Laws are eternal and have no end date. However, a law may be challenged with a new bill. And, if the bill succeeds, then the law will be nullified. No new law is created in this procedure. The bill must then be voted on again in three months for ratification (barring an aforementioned emergency). If the 60% needed is accrued then the bill becomes law as any other would. This is such so that no law will be enacted as the lesser of two evils.

There will be no legislative leaders. No one will be paid in any way for their services, including gifts or gestures.

Laws are singular in purpose. They may not encompass more than one statement or reach beyond their first purpose. They are not to exceed 5000 words in length and all must be available to every citizen prior to and after voting. They are to be written clearly and concisely. If this becomes questionable, then the bill should be voted down by the public.

The voting age for bills is based on a competency test taken in the language of their choice, after unbiased and detailed instruction regarding the legislative process. To vote for bills (and to produce one) one must achieve at least an 85% on the competency test. The test may be taken as many times as one wishes, without charge. It is to be administered in a public forum with all precautions taken to prevent cheating.


The court system is split into three levels inside two districts. District One takes care of all disputes regarding the breaking of laws. District Two takes care of all private disputes and anything else that does not including disputes brought forward because of the breaking of laws. Both Districts are to be located in the same building.

All trials are to be tried by a judging body of one's peers. All judges must be certified voters and pass a second test regarding judicial policy with at least a 85%. Each trial has eleven judges and all have equal power. Judges are picked at random from the pool of judges and are paid for their work per day equal to the amount that they would've been paid in accordance to their average rate of pay over the past six months. Judges must sit in on all proceedings for their case. No exceptions unless they are dead or hospitalized. If a judge then is missing, they are not replaced, the trial continues without them. And if an appeal is granted upon new evidence, then only the judges that voted on the outcome previously are allowed to attend. Judges are to be tested annually on their knowledge and must attain the same 85% each time to continue. This may be taken only once a year. No one may judge a case after the 30th anniversary of their first trial and they may also not be chosen, and must be removed from the pool if they are incarcerated or a part of an impending trial.

Level One of the court system, of both Districts (as all levels do), is located locally, there being now hundred mile circular radius without a courthouse, though they may be closer in densely populated areas.

Level Two is a higher level court to which Level One courts' decisions may be appealed at. All cases that are judged at Levels One and Two may be appealed. Level Two courts are located only in the top 20 largest cities, as determined every ten years by census.

Cases may only be brought before a Level Three Court if it has been judged in a Level One and Two and the verdict was overturned in the Two. All verdicts presented in a Level Three court are final. There is no appeal after that unless new evidence is obtained. If so, the case goes back to a Level One court for review of the new evidence with the same persons that judged the first trial (that also goes for any appeals afterwards). Level One courts also have the ability to deny a trial to repeat cases, if the evidence does not warrant a new trial. The judging body must have a 4/5ths vote to deny a new trial. If denied, the case is permanently over, unless new evidence surfaces in addition to old. There is only one Level Three court and it is located in the capital city and only moves if the capital does.

All trials are privately recorded and stored at the courthouse. Judges may peruse the tapes at any time during their deliberation. A transcript of all deliberations will be available publicly without identifying the author of each statement. No one unrelated to the trial is allowed in the courtroom.

Transportation to any court proceeding is free for anyone involved in the trial.

Judges may only sit in on one trial at a time. All courthouses must be large enough to sustain the number of trials that goes through it within one month of their application (all are able to apply for a trial). If there is a shortage of judges, that is if a pending trial waits more than one month to be heard and the pool of available judges have been exhausted, then the trial may be moved to the nearest equal-level courthouse. If there is a Level Three clog, that is to say that all judges everywhere are occupied, then the case will have to wait until the judges are available.

All cases tried in the same court for a second or subsequent time must take place at a time where all required judges are available, which may be more than a month, but no more than a year. If it takes a year, then they will be pushed ahead of other cases to get it fit in.


There is no executive office.


There is no need for checks and balances as everyone is represented. Laws and rulings may exist on a national, regional, or local scope. That is for each law itself to decide. If laws are voted for regionally, only that region can vote on them, likewise for local issues. Regional laws overreach local laws; national laws overreach regional and local laws. This document and it's rules within cannot ever be changed.


Well there we have it, the start of my ideal nation.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Rantings of A Mad Man Part IX: Shards of Broken Thought

People who appear toughest, hurt the most because they haven't got an outlet to let it all out.

Ducks are one of few animals other than humans which engage in gang rape.

Sexual activity clears the sinuses.

Everyone today is trying to escape from their lives. Why can't we just fix the world we live in?

The Church fears sex because hormones cause man to disobey the Church's rules.

There is no truth, only perception.

When people die in movies and whatnot they always say they have no regrets. Bull shit. I can think of forty or fifty right off the bat.

Pollution is slowly killing us all, yet we continue to buy SUV's and burn fossil fuels.

Let me tell you from someone who knows: ignorance is not bliss. Have you ever gotten lost in a foreign country? Well when you do, go on and tell me if it's bliss or not.

The greatest books and movies of all time are quite long.

Ignorance IS bliss for those who want to fool you.

No god of mine would ever smite man.

How many manifestos out there are not controversial? That said, I want to write a manifesto. Just because.

The greatest politicians realize the true potential of their power and don't ever run for any office.

Fear is blinding, yes. Happiness is too. As is greed. And jealousy. And pain can be as well. Rage. Anger. Vengeance. They're all blinding. Now don't you see why man is blind.

The greatest person in the history of the world was probably killed. And if not yet, will soon be.

Humanity is a parasite yes, but parasites don't usually feed off each other as well.

The world will only end when we let it.

Give love a chance... and then cop it one on the head and make for the quick-dry cement shoes.

I have a pill to make your ears larger and I'll sell it to you for six bucks a bottle. I have another pill that'll make your middle finger larger so as to better your salute. Ten bucks a bottle. Oh, think that's absurd? Well, I've got a pill to make your penis larger too. Thirty bucks a bottle.

The cement in Hoover Dam will not be fully dry in your lifetime.

If every person in the world moved to one side of the globe and simultaneously jumped, the resultant tremor of our planet would dislodge it by less than the width of a hair.

Jeez people, make something in the U.S. again, please. I don't care what it is; I'll buy it; just make the damn thing!

Why do we continue to insist to hurt each other? Wouldn't everything be so much better if we all just agreed to leave each other alone?

What IS war good for?

We only hurt because we care. If we didn't care about someone or something, it wouldn't hurt at all.

Why do we really care what others think of us?

You take the high road, I'll take the low road, and I'll be in Scotland better off than you.

Why do I expect to understand the big questions in life when I can't even solve basic math equations?

Here's a word we could do without: ire

...And another: grizzled

...And still another: qat

...And that's all I've got tonight.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Until November!

So, we'll be waiting until after the November elections to find out if the proposed same-sex marriage ban will be on the ballots. All the better. Time is certainly an ally of GLBT's and their supporters. Perhaps just this once, yes the political process does work.

Remember though, when the time comes it is your responsibility to get out there and vote for equal rights. This is more important than watching re-runs of Seinfeld, possibly the most important vote that will come about in our lifetimes. Be a part of it. And remember, odds are, that by the time you are a grandparent, one of your progeny will be GLBT. Would you like to be the one to look into their eyes and tell them that you were part of the reason they don't have the right to legally marry the one they love?

If that doesn't help then let me ask one question. How do you know you're straight? Are you sure? I mean what tells you that you are in fact straight? Whatever it is, it's the same thing that tells others that they are not. So deal with it.

Monday, July 10, 2006

This Week's News, July 10th 2006

Massachusetts SJC ruled that if the legislature decides to put a same-sex marriage amendment on the November ballot then it would be legal to do so. Well, I can't help but be nervous about this one, but I'm still optimistic. As many of you already know my views on same-sex marriage, I will not rant here and now. Perhaps Wednesday after the legislature makes their decision.

Manhattan building blows up, gas leak suspected. Not terrorism related. Well at least it wasn't terrorism, I wouldn't think that Bush's ratings could go lower.

Iraq now semi-officially in civil war.I kinda thought that started three years ago. Bureaucracy, heh. It makes everything so complicated.

Boy drowns trying to save two other boys at a charity picnic.Well that just sucks. (Slow news week)

Friday, July 7, 2006

The Bush Beating Around the Bush

I would like to say yes yet again another twisted press conference, but I can't. I could count the number of our President's press conferences on my fingers. You see he talks and talks, yet digging himself deeper into the floor. And I laugh and laugh. Hypocrisy abounds my friends. He won't answer hypothetical questions involving North Korea but will on Iran. Why? Because North Korea is far and away stronger than Iran. We could not in truth run a war in Afghanistan, Iraq, and then North Korea. It's not possible. We don't have the money. We don't have the resources. And we most certainly don't have the man power.

Then he talks about how he cares for the people of North Korea. And the AIDS victims in Africa and the refugees of Darfur. Yet our President has cut funding to birth control and sexual education in Africa, the only way to stop AIDS before it starts. All because we should believe in abstinence only techniques. Guess what, adults above children, will not accept abstinence. It's just foolish. Without real education more people will contract AIDS and more money will be needed to help these people later, whether in AIDS drugs or in moneys needed to stabilize the area after an entire generation of men and women die of an insipid disease.

Apparently it is unfair to give a timetable of withdrawal from Iraq, not to our cause, to our troops? That's what he said. Please explain this. Tell me that our troops are smart enough to understand that they are not mechanical puppets but actual people who deserve to be brought home safely, that their lives are their own and not the property of a lackluster, Elmer Fudding Commander and Chief.


"I am committed to the spread of liberty, because that's how we're founded." -President Bush, Press Conference 7-7-06, Chicago.

Personally I don't see why we should force our ways on other people. True we did it ourselves, but that's the point. WE DID IT OURSELVES. We didn't have someone invade our country, strip it of natural resources, and then leave it in disrepair.


And now, our saying that we shouldn't work in Iraq alone is considered elitist by our Commander and Chief. Isn't that cute.


He speaks of "universal rights of men and women" when talking about liberty. Yet we imprison people without trial or evidence, without lawyer and without question. We dive into another's country and pull people out to our secret prisons.


"The cause is noble and necessary."

It is noble to invade other countries to "spread freedom". Well not freedom really, just our brand of it. And in doing so we give up our own rights at home. I don't know about you but I have a different view of what's noble. And what's not noble is war. Then there's necessary, a vague term, very vague, necessary for what. For stability? Surely not. For a radical view of our brand of democracy? Evidently. That's what it is you know. Radical. his view of our democracy is radical bordering on authoritarian. Pathetic.


And last, but not particularly in order, our addiction to oil. I just love it how we people, and you know who we is, talked about outsourcing jobs, oil addiction, global warming, etc. and they didn't believe us. We were quacks. We didn't know what we were talking about. And now, oh wait, we do have an addiction to oil, we are outsourcing jobs, oh and the earth is warming beyond the shadow of a doubt. Yet some radicals still won't believe us.

Ideas travel slowly my friends, very slowly. These things take time, and unlike Bush's strategy in Iraq and North Korea, we will win you over whether you like it or not. In fact, I won't be surprised if yet again you think you came up with it first.

Bush says that we're making progress on energy independence, we are not.

He says we are making progress in Iraq and Afghanistan, we are not.

He says we are making diplomatic progress with Iran and North Korea, we are not. Whatcha gonna do then, invade? Let's look at what's happened in Iraq and Afghanistan first.


Our president is confined by his archaic beliefs and should not be allowed to lead a donkey nevermind our country. The future of our country is liberal, especially compared to his radical, reactionary, democratic-in-name-alone, autocratic values.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Rantings of a Mad Man Part VIII: It Kept Me Up Tonight

Did you notice that we've stopped watching "reality tv" and now it's just TV? It still sucks, but now it's lumped together with all the other crappy programs on TV today.

This year is the bikini's 60 anniversary.


There are diurnal owls too.

A street light has been flickering on my street for two months and no one's called to get it fixed for free by the city, but the moment a headlight begins to dim we take our cars to the shop to fix it at cost to us.

Why do bottled waters taste different from each other?

To anyone who ever thought bottled water wasn't a scam. Evian, the name of a brand of bottled water, written backwards spells "naive".

If there's something called "deep space" is there also a "shallow space"? Is it between the ears of our president?

Why do white socks never turn white again after their first use?

The blue dye used in the socks worn by the predecessor to the Boston Red Sox was poisonous and potentially harmful if gotten into wounds.

The first game ever played at Fenway park was the Boston Red Sox versus the New York Islanders (the predecessor to the Yankees). The Red Sox won.

By and large, white baseball players get paid less on average than their minority counterparts.

George Carlin is 69 years old and is taking full advantage of it.

Bill Gates should go pressure the Wal-Mart children for donations to his charity.

Dan Rather was a scapegoat and no one who actually watched CBS Evening News wanted him to step down. Conservatives disgraced the career of a legendary broadcaster and the majority of Americans are going to be fooled by it.

Bill Clinton does not look as healthy as he did when he was killing himself with fast food.

President Bush said he wanted to increase the Pell Grant for college students, but his restructuring of it saved the government 270 million dollars and eliminated 81,000 people from its services.

Lincoln only freed the slaves to win a war.

Ben Franklin invented the lightning rod but refused to patent it saying that it was his gift to the world. And indeed, it is now used worldwide.

In 18th century Boston, if lightning were to strike a building causing it to catch on fire, they would not put the fire out on the building it struck but only on those it spread to calling the lightning strike an act of God.

Google has over 660 million entries for "sex" but only half that for marriage or wedding. Teehee, liberalism rules.

AND 1.34 billion entries for war, just 585 million for peace. (Pathetic isn't it)

The energy of one lightning bolt would power NYC for a year.

Sex relieves depression. Well actually orgasm does, so you could do it yourself if you want. But I see no better excuse to give your unwilling partner.

The Beatles' voices were never as high as they seem on many of their records, they were altered.

Mt. Everest is not the tallest mountain in the world and is getting shorter every day.

What did people do before toilet paper was invented?

Outhouse is a paradox and a pun at the same time.

There are places in India where the population density exceeds 450,000 people per square mile!

And finally... Sex before marriage is not immoral. They just say it is because they aren't getting any.

Monday, July 3, 2006


Well it occurred to me that I do a lot of opinionating here now and again. So below are what I consider to be the top five liberal news outlets online. They are all completely free and available to everyone. On the same train of thought, the links also will now permanently sit on the side bar directly above the Guest Book link.

1. - a personal favorite of mine. With well-written, professional liberal essays, very few ads (all on topic), and a clear mission statement, I find this to be the most accessible, functional, and practical liberal news site online today.

2. - news from all corners of the globe and all subjects, liberal of course. A little difficult to navigate, but well written. Biggest downside- numerous absurd ads.

3. - a vast archive of liberal op-ed's from the likes of Howard Zinn, Cindy Sheehan, and many, many others.

4. - provides numerous links to magazines, newspapers, and other outlets of the liberal leaning. Proves useful for vast quantities of links.

5. - provides a blog service for public debate. Join with your peers and learn a little at the same time.

Well that's it. I figured five would be enough, but there are far more out there. For more links visit this website or do the hip thing and google it:

Wake Up and Pay Attention

I'll tell you, life ain't like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you can know what you're gonna get. It's just those fools who think that it hasn't been staring them in the face for the last number of years that really have it coming to them. You see, I'd make a bet that it's completely possible to know exactly how someone's feeling at any moment of the day. And, more so, it is possible to read someone like a book, if you only push the right buttons, go about cracking their defenses the right way.

It's devious really. But dead useful. Mothers seem to be particularly good at this I've noticed. They always seem to know what's wrong. But I'd beg to say that anyone can do it. You just have to look out for the signs. A twitch, a smirk, a tear. All signs of a feeling or idea. All information usable for your advantage.

I know it can be devious. But dead useful to, remember. How better to better your relationships then to know exactly how your partner feels? How they think? What they need? I can't think of one. So sharpen up that intuitiveness and take it for a spin. Just know one thing. It is by far easier to analyze the feelings and thoughts of another when they are not involved with you. When it is personal, your emotions and thoughts cloud your judgment and more times than not leave you oblivious to even the most obvious hints. If successful, your partner will thank you for the effort. Even if they don't realize it.

Just a Little Bit

Life sucks sometimes you know, sucks the big one, but then sometimes it's real good.  I dunno why, but I'd sure like to find out.

Hey, I'm not the happiest person in the world, I know that. But I try and that should count for something.  People don't really understand that well.  I have my reasons. You can cheer me up, make me happy, but really, you'll never understand.  And I don't blame you.  No I don't.  Not in the least.  I don't want people to know.  To know is to know weakness, pain, my innermost thoughts and desires.  To survive in this world you have to be strong.  Unfortunately that means alienating yourself from yourself sometimes,  think of Beetlebrox in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for example.

I am not an emo asshole.  I don't like people who whine about their feelings I've never been in a band and I don't like their music.  I am too matured, a product of my life experience, to care.  I like graphic violence.  Oh hell yeah I do.  I like graphic sex.  The more the merrier.

I do want to say one thing, and some won't believe me I know, but I don't care.  I have never been truly angry at anyone outside of my own family.  Never.  In my mind, anything anyone could do to me pales in comparison to the hell that my family life has been over the years.  But I won't tell most people about those things and I try not to think about it.

Music is my redemption.  Listening not playing.  Rock only please.  The only true music style in my mind.  Nothing is like the power of music.  It brings me to a place where I make the rules.  Where I'm happy and anything's possible.  Nothing like listening to my headphones, tuning the world out, or blasting the fucking hell out of the neighbors ear drums and vibrating the plaster off the walls. Hell yeah!

I don't care who reads this, seriously not at all.  I didn't really say anything at all.  Just scratching the surface.  Figured that someone out there might like to know that there are real people out there with real problems.  The kind you don't go to therapy for.  The kind that you don't whine and cry about.  The kind that are best fought rather than shared.

Life sucks.  Well for the most part.  But I do hope that for you it doesn't suck quite as much as it has for me over the years.  And you couldn't understand how much it sucked.  If you truly genuinely care to know, then ask.  But no one does.  And I don't blame them.  No one wants to feel bad.  And I don't want to have others feel sorry for me.  That really gets me annoyed.  

Just remember that everything I am now is a product of my past and of my trying to escape it.  But everyday it gets a bit better.  It's a long way going still and the hardest part is yet to come.  We'll all move on eventually.  Hopefully sooner than later.  I am not emo.  Just in case there was any misinterpretation.  This is serious shit.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

My News Tidbits

The Arkansas high court has reversed a previous decision disallowing gay couples to adopt. ( Well it's about damn time.

The U.S. Millitary describes homosexuality as a mental disorder despite most every expert denying this accusation. ( Now just be careful not to blame this on bureaucracy, it's actually what the government believes. Save us from the stupid!

On July 4th, 2006, North Korea tested two short range missiles in direct violation of international regulations. The U.S. responded with brief chastisement. ( This just tells me that we'll invade countries weaker than ourselves but not those who have a chance of fighting back. And don't tell me we wouldn't've invaded Iraq if they tested anything larger than a bottle rocket.

Ann Coulter is taking heat for yet again seemingly plagiarizing parts of her new book ( from various fully available sources. ( See, not only doesn't she pose unintelligent, illogical arguements twisted to fit the tyrannical views of the Christian right, she's also a thief! I love who ever figured this one out.

President Bush has said that he will go ahead with millitary tribunals, that just last week were deemed illegal under the Geneva Accords by the SJC. ( This administration is yet again breaking the law, and yet again seriously so. I think it's about time we make some arrests.

Flag burning is still legal, despite the efforts of Republican Congressmen to ban it. ( What a way to support our troops. Forget about them and focus on flag burning.

After a yearly check-up, Dick Cheney is said to be in good health.
( Well good is a relative term I suppose. Perhaps he is the healthiest man to every survive a quadruple bypass and two angioplasties. I don't know. But I do hope that our medical community doesn't endorse this accessment. Sounds like someone needs to go back to med. school.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

New Feature

I find that more often than not that older articles are lost upon casual browsers and for this I decided to create the Featured Article section. It can be found at the bottom of the main page, complete with a direct link to the article and a brief word by yours truly.

-FlyFreeForever (Admin)

The Way We Are

Times like this really get me thinking about the direction of our politicians. When is it ever in the best interest of the country to clog our system with pointless, politically motivated Congressional sessions? Yesterday Congress took up the issue of flag burning and whether or not to pass a Constitutional amendment banning it. Doesn't this just show us where their loyalties lie? They are more worried about keeping their jobs this November than they are about our troops overseas or our economy here at home or the continued removal of money used for student loans.

They are hurting our country. They are hurting our country. THEY ARE HURTING OUR COUNTRY. I can't stress it enough. THEY ARE HURTING OUR COUNTRY!

Well, I think that this time it is time to see their actions for what they are. They think that we are stupid. They think that we will be deterred. Try again. Vote them out. That's the solution. Tell our Senators and Representatives that we will not tolerate their political ploys any longer. It's time to get down to business. We have a large number of really impacting issues facing our country. None of which might I add have anything to do with flag burning or same-sex marriage or anything else.
I just find it scary that within the period of two weeks, our Congress has brought up two separate measures to contradict our Constitution. That's what these bills do. Two acts of political propaganda. Two acts of discrimination and bigotry akin to Jim Crow laws of our forefathers. This should be a threat to everyone, can't you see? And it doesn't matter if you believe in same-sex marriage or flag burning or people's rights to either of them. What will stop our Congressmen in the future from trying, politically motivated, to strip you of your rights. What will you say then. The time to act is NOW before the damage is done. This November, vote to protect our rights. Vote to protect your freedoms.

But otherwise, I have an idea for a new proposed amendment. How about a no sex on Sundays amendment. I know that there are groups out there who find sex uncomfortable enough to pass the damn thing. You know, why not, the Church will sure get on the bandwagon. And who wants to defy the Church! Well I will. And I hope to see you there.


I would like to add one more thing, not wholly unlike the above. Isn't it just great that just as the political season begins, John McCain begins to act Republican again. To get elected of course. Deception never ceases in Washington. If I were our first president, I'd petition to have my name removed from the city. The state is much more beautiful anyways.

Let's vote these two-faced sons of bitches out of office. For our rights. And for the greater good of America.

Friday, June 16, 2006


What's so wrong with us? We all want to live prosperous lives. Why do we continue to rob our brothers and sisters of their livelihood to temporarily better our own? What comes around goes around. If you do it then others will do it, maybe to you. Then you'll need to do it more or better than everyone else and society then drops into chaos. What is wrong with us. Are we so nearsighted that we cannot see the results of our actions. Or is it that we choose to live for the moment and not for the future. That has to be it, just look at our debt in this country.

Apparently nowadays if you're not in debt then you're not living up to your financial potential, and more so you're not patriotic. You're not supporting your country's amassed debt (a debt because they only saw through the lens showing the sum of all our nearsightedness). Debt makes the rich richer and you poorer. You are increasing the gap here, not Congress, not rich assholes, not inflation, tax fraud, or selective donating. It's you now. You are draining this country of its wealth every time you add to your credit card debt.

It's time we all grow up a bit and realize that to succeed in this world we MUST live within our means. We MUST not define our self-worth on the number of cars we have or the computer power at our disposal. We MUST not look to our neighbors with envy. LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS.

If right now there was no debt in the United States we would all have more money. Why? Because if the national debt was ended people would return to the dollar and inflation would reverse. And like it or not economists, we need deflation. Things have become too expensive today, it's true. And I'm not just talking about gas. You name it and I'll prove that it's more expensive now than before the "War on Terrorism" began before we reamassed a large national debt, personages of importance turning to the Euro instead of the dollar because it was more stable.

We need to firm up fiscal security. And we need to do it today. I say to you if you don't know where you next paycheck is going to come from, if you don't know how you are going to feed your children, if you have any debt whatsoever, including a mortgage, including car payments, including college loans: DO NOT BUY ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE NECESSITIES OF LIFE UNTIL IT IS PAID OFF. And don't just pay the minimum. Pay as much as you can each month. And don't stop until it's paid off. Don't buy lottery tickets, go to the movies, out to dinner, wasting gas, or electricity, or oil, or hot water. Don't have cable or internet access. Do not buy movies or music. Do not buy anything that isn't necessary. Buy food. Do not buy clothes unless the ones you have fall off your back. Trends don't matter. You are in debt because of your reckless spending habits. Do not continue them. Finish them now while you're still young so that you can start to save up for your children and for retirement. You can do it. We all can.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Coming Soon...

Well my internet's been acting up so until it's fixed there won't be anything new here. But it's supposed to be taken care of tomorrow, we'll see about that. I do have a couple ideas in the works. However, until the time comes that my internet is fixed, peace and fly free forever.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

People (and Things) I Want to Get What's Coming to Them

George W. Bush
For crimes against humanity

Dick Cheney
For being embarrassed of your daughter

Ann Coulter
The least worthy of any New York Times Best Selling fascist bitches.

Robert Blake
We all know what happened

O.J. Simpson
We all KNOW what you did

Jerry Falwell
No one with your credentials should be allowed to influence our youth

Bud Selig
You are a detriment to baseball

Rush Limbaugh
Hypocritical bastard

Tiger Woods
Awh, you're beatable, why don't you go cry

The Rock
You suck at life, get over it

Barry Bonds
You are a detriment to organized sports. Move to Pakistan and put us out of our misery

You couldn't stand the heat, so you got out of the kitchen

Darth Chef
No, don't ease off him, he's stupid, don't sink to his level

All I have to say is, 49-48, democracy has spoken

If He smote that many people, I say it's high time to get a little pay back

Katrina victims
They need fucking homes

Pedophile priests
You like sticking your hot rod up little boys asses, then let me ram a hot poker up yours too you disgusting fucking excuse for a human being

Pearl Jam
For support of just causes

Gay marriage
Freedom for all

A place for me to rest my head

Free time
If time weren't so free, they'd be a hell of a lot more of it

Family Guy
The Simpsons are greater on every level. They are what you could only ever dream to be

Internet Ads
I don't want to visit a dating website, so stop pestering me

For allowing a car sponsored by the Church of Scientology to run on the minor circuit

Global Warming non-believers
The extinction of the polar bear, penguin, and arctic fox, and changing weather patterns

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Internet Jargon and Whatnot

I can't believe I actually used the word "whatnot". Damn, now I hate myself, but let's just keep moving...

You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of internet jargon. LOL, GTG, G2T, L8R, ur, TTYL, TY, ASL, WTF, BF, GF, LMAO, LMFAO, GG, GL, GS, BS, ROTF, ROTFL, ROTFLMAO, ROTFLMFAO and those are just the uppermost tier of them in my view. I especially love the ones that I have to think about for a minute.

In my opinion, if LMFAO explains exactly how you're feeling at the moment then by all means use it, but I don't know how it could, I can't even pronounce that shit. Lem-fowh?

Regardless, if you mean to say ROTFLMFAO, I think that the situation warrants the use of the actual words. I mean this is a once (maybe twice) in your lifetime occurrence! For god's sake say it like you mean it.


FlyFreeForever: Hey Gus, right now, seriously man, I'm rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off! I just hope my ass doesn't go that far, I'm going to need it to take a crap later, if not the contents therein beforehand to take my calculus test. Talk to you later. I have got to go find my ass!


Hmm, that would be a nice one: TTYLIHGTGFMA. Now I'd even use that one.

Did you ever notice that when these internety pricks start with the LOL crap that they seem to be doing a hell of a lot more laughing than is normal for the average sane person? Four, five, six, seventy times in a conversation! They're laughing every other line, and that other line is yours! You're not that funny! It takes someone with the IQ of that grape flavored popsicle that you found in the back of your freezer in the middle of this past February to limit themselves to only one reaction to everything you say.


FlyFreeForever: ...and I says to the man. No YOU go fuck yourself!

PretentiousAsshole: LOL!!! LOL1! LMFAO!!!!!!!!

FlyFreeForever: But other than that, my day's really sucked. My great-aunt died this morning in a car accident.

PretentiousAsshole: ROTFLMFAO!!!!

FlyFreeForever: Dude! It's not fucking funny! It took six hours to ID her she was such a mess.

PretentiousAsshole: Haha LOL!

FlyFreeForever: Dude! Go fuck yourself! I sit here and tell you that my great-aunt....

PretentiousAsshole: LOL


PretentiousAsshole: TTYL

*And so on*


I've probably said this before, but would someone please give that asshole a fucking thesaurus! Or maybe it's that they're TOO busy with the other twelve people they're "chatting" with that they can pay attention to my dead family member! That's like calling me, setting the phone down on the table and going to watch television, occasionally shouting in acknowlegement. And I know there are people who do that. They're the same fucking person as the internety pretentious asshole! Maybe instead of watching TV they're online in their parents basement with fifty or sixty of their closest friends, listening to you, while folding laundry, finishing their chemistry homework, and listening to the ballgame on the radio or finding the cure to AIDS or cancer. These are the same exact people who also interrupt you while talking on the phone because they have an "incoming call". Hey, fuck them I was here first! It isn't Jesus on the other line, call them back while you're doing your chemistry homework will you!

When it comes right down to it, I don't care if someone uses it every now and then. Casually drop in a TTYL in the middle of a statement, sure at least I know that the conversation is just about over. But you know why these things were developed right? No? It's for those people who think themselves really great for being able to carry on eight or nine fucking conversations at the same time! It's these pretentious assholes, who want to seem to you the onlooker as if they're SO damn important. It's networking! It's what we're all supposed to be doing. Hands across America! Fuck that. The only networking I want to do is at sea. And at least that way, I get to eat too, instead of just bloating up on a false sense of self-worth.

You know what I do when I'm playing a round of 9-Ball with some pretentious internet-jargon-using asshole and they start with the ASL's?

I answer! Oh yeah I do! But then I add a little jargon of my own...


PrententiousAsshole: Hi

FlyFreeForever: [sigh...] Hey

PrententiousAsshole: ASL?

FlyFreeForever:63, tranny, Burkina Faso

PrententiousAsshole: [silence....]

FlyFreeForever: TKDKS?

PrententiousAsshole: ???

FlyFreeForever: TKDKS? THY? LLO?

PrentetiousAsshole: huh?

FlyFreeForever: LDL? TYDK?

PretentiousAsshole: [...leaves game]


That shuts them up real quick. OR, they try and be a smart ass and start answering with indiscriminate words like "yeah" or "err, dunno" or "LLO! POTL! YOD?"

But I've got them beat. I never said I speak English! Then the real fun begins. Boy do I love to fuck with pretentious internety assholes. You have no idea! Once in a while, I'm really surprised however, they actually play along, not just stumble along blindly in the dark as the masked axe-wielding maniac draws nearer and nearer to ending their pathetic little lives, but really plays along. When I find one of those glorious assholes, bitter as I am, and equally (if that is possible) cynical, then hell yeah I'm game. You rack; I crack. Let's get the fuck going!

But as we all know, for every wonderfully humorous Anon there's five hundred billion other assholes. I suppose it's such in just about everything. Too bad, I'd really like to meet someone who truly understands my humor. Then the real fun would begin.

Monday, May 29, 2006

The Enlightenment

History classes teach us that The Enlightenment happened in Europe and the United States (the U.S to be, that is) between the 1500's and the end of the Industrial Revolution. I believe that this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I believe that The Enlightenment is still going on today. And today it's leaders are social liberals.

True in the 1789 all men were created equal, but it wasn't until 1865 that black men were included, and 1921 until white and black women were included. And still after that point we had segregation, race riots, the KKK, and to this day anti-gay movements.

But I think we are about to reach the top of the mountain on this one. Thankfully, it's been nearly 500 years. In time we will learn to accept the rights of those different from us in all their aspects. We won't look away when a black man or gay couple walks down the street. We won't have need for words like nigger and fag. Someday soon we will see that Arab is not a reason to kill. Neither is race, religion, orientation, sex, age, mental capacity, or ideas.

I do hold out hope for civilization, perhaps we can look beyond the color of our skin, our religions, our differences really and realize that in the end we are all people. And people all deserve the same respect and dignity that you have.

My only hope is that I live to see this come true. Then I will be happy.