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I'm not an angry person. I am not by nature vengeful, grudge-holding, or hurtful. I am however, cold and calculating, and I tend to get my way. I shrug people off when they get too close and I don't beat around the bush. If you don't like it, then too bad. It's not in my capacity to change. I am not crewel however and I don't intend to hurt anyone. I am very empathetic even if I appear apathetic. A lot of the time I take life in a third-person view, I see and experience it through others. If I knew why, I'd fix it. Likewise I pass through bouts of what would be described as clinical depression. But such is life, and it passes unacknowledged. I hide things, even from those closest to me. I don't drink to get drunk, I don't smoke anything, and I don't take unnecessary medications. If I have a headache I want to have it, discover why I have it, and cure the problem at it's source instead of treating symptoms. This is the way I am, methodical, meticulous, and calculating. The biggest secrets I keep discern why I am who and what I am. No one knows all of them, and few know any at all, even those I know best, friends or family. It's not because I don't trust some of them, it's that I do trust them, and value them too much. Am I insane? Most certainly, without a doubt. Does it matter? Not a bit. I would never kill myself. That thought never even enters my mind. It is a non-factor and nothing can change that. That codec is so buried inside my being that nothing can touch it. Nothing. No matter what happens. Nothing. Suicide is giving up. I don't give up. I am too stubborn, too methodical, calculative, and empathetic to do so. To live a long life is my greatest goal, based in a secret I've yet to speak of, but might eventually. It is my utmost desire to outlive everyone in my family. Everyone. I am not emotional. I don't like it when people cling. I don't like it when people get too close, yet that above all but all else is what I want. I am me. Just a person, any old person. Who are you?

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