Thursday, December 24, 2015

Sunday, December 20, 2015

This Day

I'm not going to be posting much in the way of content tonight.  I've been in a pretty lousy mood today and that doesn't cater to creativity.  Hopefully I shake it off by morning.  I'm not the type of person that's prone to lousy moods, although I do have one hell of a resting bitch face if I do say so myself.  Basically everything about my day irked me in one way or another.  Everyone has those days where literally nothing seems to go the way it should, where you're constantly being bombarded by stupid shit.  Even the customers at work were brutal today for clearly no valid reason.  But, it's over, I won't take it personally, and tomorrow is a new day.  In the meantime, here's a little fun from my all time favorite comedian and the penultimate master of language-- George Carlin.  Incidentally, I did have the opportunity to see him live three times.  He's been gone too long...

(  ^^ How I feel about work today ^^ )

Friday, December 18, 2015

On Why Star Wars is Important to Me (No Spoilers I Promise!)

First, I'm not going to talk about plot or the movie itself.  There are no spoilers described below.  This is because it's not the movie itself that is important, but the role that the movie series had played in my past. 

Allow me to explain...

I was raised in a very protective, conservative, Catholic family.  Go to church on Sundays, Catholic school, sacraments, the entire thing.  I'm also gay.  (Unsurprising I'm sure if you've read anything I've written in the past.)  Growing up with very controlling parents being a gay boy is very difficult, doubly so because of their religious and political leanings.  I am the oldest child, and in being such also dealt with the worst of my parents' controlling nature.  I knew I was different than everyone else from a very young age, but it wasn't until college that I was comfortable being gay-- hell, I didn't even know what gay was (WHAT I WAS) until high school.  I was very, excruciatingly sheltered as a child.  I could write for hours about growing up and the challenges I faced being the gay son to two people who hated gay people, but I'll try to stay on topic.

Star Wars.

Star Wars Episode III came out when I was in high school.  It was also around this time that I seriously needed to get away from my parents.  I had walled them off from my life as much as possible--granting the fact that I still lived in the bedroom next to them in their house.  I was figuring out who I was and it was very, very painful.  I wouldn't say that I was depressed, more like clueless.  I really didn't even know who I was because who I really was was so much different than the person everyone told me I was.

I went to see the Star Wars midnight release on my own.  Up until this point I had never gone anywhere to speak of on my own.  I had just recently gotten my license.  Just recently, I had been allowed to drive my mom's Jeep alone.  I'd just recently began along the long path to understanding and eventually embracing my sexuality.  And no, I didn't go to the movie with some cute guy and made out with him and had a gay ol' time.  I actually went alone.

I had told my parents that I was going with "friends from school".  I lied.  I didn't really have friends from school.  I had a few "school friends", people I would talk to at school occasionally, but no one I knew outside of the classroom at all.  My parents would never let me go do things with kids outside of the immediate neighborhood (ie. the street I grew up on).  But, this time I convinced my mom that I should be able to go.  It took me a long time to work up the courage to even ask.

In getting to go to the movie, it was the first time I was able to break away from my parents in a meaningful way.  It was the first time that I could get away from them and be me.  It was the first step on a long journey into becoming the person I was on the inside.  I liked the movie, but the point wasn't the movie, it was the action of going on my own that was important.  After it was over, I took the long way home so I could soak up the moment of freedom just a little bit longer.  

It was an important first step into being the man I am today and that's why Star Wars holds a meaning to me.  So, I went to see the one that came out tonight and enjoyed myself, but I'll never forget where I came from, the boy that I was.  I'll never forget the struggle it was to embrace the person I was on the inside and to show him to the world outside without fear of persecution (or worse, my parents finding out at the time).  While my story about Star Wars is probably not the same as maybe anyone else's, it is the reason why I treasure the movie franchise.  It was the first in many steps to becoming me.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

When Love Strikes

Love is a very difficult thing to understand.  The reason for this is because of how our brains are set up.  We have the ability to be both logical and emotional.  Love is not logical.  It is emotional.  Obviously.  So, who we fall in love with, when we fall in love (or out of love), and that we want to fall in love are not easily, logically explainable concepts.  Love does not know logic.  In my experience, it frequently drops in on you unexpectedly (though never unpleasantly).

For very logical people such as myself, falling in love can be a somewhat frustrating thing.  It upends your life as you know it.  Your priorities change over night.  You begin to spend a lot of time with someone you probably didn't even know a few days or weeks ago.  Granted I'm speaking about infatuation or "lust" as well.  Love is a progression from interest and infatuation.  It is deeper than any other feeling you'll likely feel in your life and it is amazing.

While that is all true, it's also frustrating sometimes.  You can't plan whom you fall for.  And you should never ignore it either.  In the past five years or so, a lot of my friends have graduated college and moved into the working world.  It's a time of great change in all of our lives and it's an amazing period of learning who you are.  It's also frequently the time in which you fall in love and begin a life with another person.  

With everything going on in your 20's, falling in love does add an incredible amount of complication to your life.  While focusing on yourself and establishing your life, you meet someone and fall for them.  You go through all the steps of dating and really, truly fall for them.  It's not an easy process as you now have to meld your lives together.  If you do truly love each other, however, it will happen.  It's not logical.  It's emotional.  And, the emotional side of your brain is generally stronger than your logical one.  (Look at every silly thing you've ever done to attract someone you're attracted to for evidence on this.)

Sometimes people make excuses, bury themselves in careers, and avoid the potential relationship.  It's true that for a while after my own last break up, I did the very same.  Everyone does in this case, for a while.  You regain your bearings and stabilize your personal life.  But, after a while, you put yourself out there again.  Sometimes however, people rationalize that love would be an imposition in their life, that it would be easier to avoid love until the "time is right".   The fact of the matter is though that there's always something else you could be doing.  There is no "right" time.  "Right" is a logical response to an illogical situation.  

When in doubt, I'd suggest always going with your heart on matters of the heart.  True, sometimes it won't make logical sense.  Sometimes you'll end up getting your heart broken as well.  But, at the same time, you can't choose whom you fall for any more than you can choose when it's going to happen.  It just happens.  I learned this lesson for myself and now I pass it on.  In short, let your heart decide on emotional decisions and let your logical brain decide on logical matters.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Tonight's Playlist

Again a bit of a pattern.  Songs from what is largely considered the single greatest rock concert of all time and a few earlier concerts. I have to say those shorts had to be painted on I'm sure.

Oh well fucking corporations decide to take down the videos, so you only get one here now.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Soul Mate

Everyone has at least a vague understanding about who the perfect person for them would be.  Too often though we idealize that person, making them into a caricature of a real person.  The truth of the matter is that no one anywhere is perfect.  We all have our flaws, every one of us.  Whether it's Joanne that likes to gamble too much, Carlos who smokes, Arlo who gets stressed and shuts down, Penny who drinks too much, Luis who can't manage a budget to save his life... on and on and on.  We're all imperfect creatures who are at the same time looking for a perfect person.  In reality we should be looking for the perfect person for us not necessarily a universally perfect person.  Plato's idea of perfect beauty does not exist.  Your perfect spouse, your soul mate if you will, is the person whom despite their flaws you don't want to live without.

Why is this?  It's very simple.  As a species we need to stop thinking about these differences as flaws.  That we disagree with the behaviors another takes, doesn't make them flaws, it only makes them flaws in the idealized image of the person that we create in our heads.  For this reason, the person that is our soul mate (which is an idealized term in and of itself) is the person for whom their flaws are irrelevant to you.  Despite your differences, you love each other and want to spend your lives together.  That is what a soul mate is.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

The Walk of Shame

Tonight's topic is the "walk of shame" or otherwise feeling bad about yourself after sleeping with someone.

There are two distinct types of this feeling.  The first is for sleeping with people you think are unattractive.  The second, and more potent, is sleeping with people whom you find very attractive.  Let me elaborate.

You meet someone on grindr, tindr, whatever.  You guys decide to get together purely for sex.  One time, no strings attached (good luck with that), and no expectations other than good sex (really though, good luck with that).

In Scenario One:  The guy that comes over (or whom you visit) you come to realize is not exactly as attractive as he was in all of the photos he sent you.  Yet, here's a perfectly good and willing cock/ass in the living room now.  What's a guy to do.  Leaving/asking him to leave would be super awkward and besides, you're really horny.  Maybe if you just close your eyes and think of someone else it won't be so bad.

After he leaves / you leave, a strong feeling of regret coupled with disgust in yourself / in the guy you slept with / surrounding the action of sleeping with an unattractive guy begins to overtake your mood.

In Scenario Two:  You both get together and he's really really amazingly gorgeous and probably even seems to be a nice guy.  And of course after, you feel awful about the whole situation.

In both scenarios, why do you feel bad after?  You don't always feel bad after, but this time you really did.  Why?

It's because humans are social creatures.  Your higher thinking brain can differentiate sex from love and companionship.  Your lower thinking brain however cannot.  If your lower brain is fulfilled by the encounter or disgusted by the encounter, afterward, it will make you depressed about it.  In the first scenario it's purely disgust or disappointment in yourself for settling so low for someone so unattractive.  In the second scenario it's a feeling that comes about because you want on some level for the guy to stick around, for it to not be a one night thing.  He fulfills your base instinctual sexual desires very well.  While your higher brain can separate sex from companionship, your lower brain wants that companionship and registers its disapproval of the hook up, largely in the form of a longing feeling or a lonely feeling but also in frustration and anger directed at oneself.

Moral of the story, don't fuck around with sex.  If you're attracted strongly to someone, don't hook up with them.  You'll feel terrible after.  And it goes without saying, if they're not attractive, just pass.  It's better for your mental state in the long run.  Sex is absolutely amazing.  Just make sure to choose your partners wisely to avoid the walk of shame.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015


I'm going to tell you the biggest secret about clothes and I'm going to blaspheme and tell it like it actually is.  So gather 'round my gay brothers and I'll share with you the key to all gay fashion.

It's very simple, and it's true of straight fashion as well:

The person makes their clothes attractive.  Their clothes do NOT make them attractive. 

The same pair of jeans on two different people will look much different and wear much different.  They will appear to be more or less attractive depending on who is wearing them.  So look for clothing that promotes your attributes, both physical AND personality-wise.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Because laugh!

Life Goals

Everyone should have a plan for where there life is going.  It really goes without saying, but sadly too often people don't know.  You should have short, medium, and long term goals.  Each of these goals you should be on the path to achieving.  It's not a goal if you're not in motion toward it; that's a dream.  So, the following are a few of my goals.  Obviously everyone's goals will be different, but take from them what you can.

Short term goals:

At the moment I have a good paying job and stability.  Wonderful.  I'd like to continue that in the future.  Maybe not the same job or the same location, who knows what'll happen, but certainly the same career path.  Sometime in the next five years I would like to be a GM again, but in the meantime I am enjoying not having total responsibility for a restaurant.  Again, it may be in the same area, maybe back east, definitely not further west in this state, maybe somewhere else.  Who knows?  At the immediate moment I like where I am and the people I'm working with.  I know this business well enough though to know that this will change at some point and I may then move on.

In the next five years I'd like to find a husband.  Granted we may not be married in the next five years, maybe, but not necessarily, but I'd like to find him at least and work towards building a life together.  If I do find love, it may speed up the time frame for me leaving my current job location, if he's not in the immediate area.  This is unfortunately a near certainty as judging by the guys in the area... ehhh... I'll pass.  It's still better than the last place I lived, but guys around here are much more short term oriented.  They're finishing up school and moving home or to find that job they want or whatever. Too many just aren't going to stick around and at the same time don't look to get into serious relationships because they know they're not sticking around for good.  I'm different than most of the guys I know in that regard.  I can find a good job anywhere.  I have less confidence in finding good love.  If I do find it, I'm going to stick with it.  Relationships are hard work, and I'm more than willing to put in my share.  To me, finding that amazing guy to spend my life with is my number one goal, and all others are flexible around it.  I know for some people, career is the most important, or money, for instance.  That's not how I operate.  Love comes first and means the most to me.

Medium Term Goals:

In the next ten years I'd like to own the place I live (ok maybe a mortgage, but that's fine).  Renting is basically giving your money away.  I'd like to own a place with my (future) husband and I'd like to work with him to make it our unique, amazing place.  I don't really care where it is, so long as it's safe and a good place to raise a family and maybe a few animals.

At this time I'll continue to pursue my career of course.  But I'd also like to continue writing.  I'd like to get something published.  A novel most likely.  I don't expect to make tons of money, but that's not why I want to do it.  

In the next ten years, my (future) husband and I would want to start a family together.  I'd love to have a few kids, I'm not really particular on the number of kids, but I'd very much like to be a dad someday and I'd like to share that happiness with my husband.  We would work out how we would take care of them.  Perhaps I would stay home while they were young, I'd be very happy to do so.  Perhaps he would, if he preferred.  But, as I said, I'd be more than happy to if he was following his dream career.  My career makes me money, but kids would be more important to me.

Long Term Goals:

I want to travel and see new places with my (future) husband.  I'd like our kids to grow up and have a good lives.  I'd like for a place to call my own, enough money to retire comfortably someday, and I'd like my happily ever after with my husband.  I want to live and see and experience as many things as I can and I want to share them with one special person until the day I die.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Because It Still Makes Me Smile and Everyone Should Smile More

Falls under the category of have fun and stop being so serious.  Life isn't meant to be serious.  Have fun with it.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

What I Bring to the Table

When it comes to love I'm very conventional, a word that probably strikes fear in a lot of gay guys hearts.  So yeah, I'm probably very "boring" to those that want open relationships.  "Dull" to those who want to add a third person.  And "closed-minded" to those who use assorted drugs to make sex more interesting.

So be it.  I don't do those things, but here's what I do bring to the table...

  • I am completely monogamous.  My future husband will never ever have to worry about me cheating on him.  Frankly, if I'm in love with someone I don't find others attractive at all.  If you don't believe that the problem lies with you not with what I said.
  • I put my whole heart into a relationship.  If I let a guy into my heart I am the most giving, thoughtful, and romantic person he'll ever know.  I'm very proud of that fact too.  I'm very attentive.  I believe the little everyday things we do to tell each other that we care are the most important. And I think that they should be told everyday, even when we're apart.  It comes in the form of little notes, quick texts, making breakfast, nudging them a little bit as we walk down the street, a hand on their leg while you're driving somewhere, staring at each other until you smile and inevitably tackle each other, and so many other little things to show that you care.
  • Amazing sex.  While sex isn't all of a relationship, it is part of it and it is a vital part just like communicating, thoughfulness, and romance. I strive to be the best sex you've ever had.  Ever.  Preferably by far.  I want you completely delirious.  Afterward I want your legs to be spaghetti and your heart to be mine.  It's not me stroking my own ego.  I'm not going to prove it, unless you happen to be the one.  But it's true.  I am the best you'll ever have.  I get off on getting you off regardless of the roles we happen to play in bed.
  • I have a good heart.  Crazy good sex aside, I'm the penultimate boy next door.  I'm great with parents, families, and your gay friends will be very jealous.  I'm very low drama.  I can't stand drama.  At no point will I do something to embarrass my future husband or otherwise make him embarrassed to be with me.  Mothers love me incidentally.  Like, really love me.
  •  I'm looking for a storybook romance and a fairytale happily ever after.  I want to sweep a guy off his feet and have him sweep me off mine.  I want it to be magical and unbelievable.  I want us to be the couple everyone is jealous of, not because we're super hot or really talented or what have you, but because when they look at us we seem like we were made for each other, that we compliment each other so perfectly, that there could be no one else in the world that would be better for each other.  
  • I want a family and us to have careers.  I want to have kids someday with the man of my dreams.  I want a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car, and a backyard.  I want us to be dedicated parents, raising thoughtful, kind, well-rounded children.  If it was necessary I would give up my career to stay home and raise them.  Likewise, if he prefered, I'd want my husband to do so instead.  
  •  I'd go to the ends of the earth for love.  If he's he right person, I make time for him, make room for him in my life.  For the perfect guy, I find ways to make it work.  If he happened to be in he military and move about the country, I would follow.  If after ten years, his job suddenly moved him to another time zone, I would follow.  If his goals included being the greatest musician in the world, I'd support him every step of the way.  Or maybe he wanted to start a business.  I'd work right along side of him to help him make his dreams come true.  I'm not just looking out for myself and my goals, I am supportive and want to help him achieve his as well.  Love is he most important thing in the world.  True love, doubly so.  When I find it, it becomes the most important thing in my life.  The trick is finding it.
  •  I'm told I'm pretty cute.  Just saying.  If it comes down to the most shallow of reasons, that's what people say.

In the end, I'm very likable.  There are very few people whom I don't get along with.  Most people like me a lot.  My goal is to be the perfect boyfriend and later husband to one amazing guy.  And, I'm going to do it too.  The first step is to become the guy that will attract the perfect guy for me.  I think I'm doing pretty well there.  Then find him.  Who knows, sometimes the real deal just happens.  Attract him.  I just be myself, no games or silliness, they only hurt a potential relationship.  They're basically lying about yourself.  And happily ever after... Well, I'll prove anyone wrong who thinks it's not possible.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

14 Life Lessons for Gays

I won't claim to be the most well-slept around gay.  At the same time though, I do spend a lot of time thinking about everything, and gay life is no exception to that.  So based on my own experiences and the experiences of those I know, here are 14 things you need to know...

1.  Avoid the most physically attractive guys. 

Seriously.  The most physically attractive guys by and large have never had to earn respect from another and have never understood rejection.  They are fawned over and greatly desired.  Because of this, they never develop the skills needed to compliment a body.  They are less inclined to put effort into a relationship because effort is difficult and there are lots of easy fish in the sea.  Likewise, they are less likely to put effort into their own personality.  Again, they simply don't have to do so to get as much ass as they want.

2.  Look for the guy who has endured and overcome hardship.

The opposite of the previous statement, he is very in tune with a potential husband's needs.  He feels he has to earn your love, as should be the case.  He may be quite physically attractive, but more often he is averagely attractive.  BUT, the combination of caring and physical attractiveness is far more over all attractive than the muscled jock in statement one.  Moreover, when things get difficult in the relationship, they are much MUCH more likely to stick around and try to work through them.  The guy with loads of options on the side will likely leave, again because hard work is difficult and he is easy.  Likewise, a guy who has overcome some hardship sees greater value in relationships and less value in anonymous sex. 

3.  The best sex you'll ever have is with the person who thinks you're more attractive than them.

Guys who feel lucky to have you will be more attentive.  Guys who think they are more attractive than you will be less attentive and more selfish.  The lucky guy isn't necessarily less attractive either.  In fact, the absolute best sex is between two guys who BOTH think each other is the most attractive person they've ever met.

4.  The size of a guy's cock is directly related to their personality for better, neutral, or worse.

A guy with a big cock tends to be more self assured and care less what others think of them sometimes to arrogance.  A guy with a small cock tends to either be very submissive or overly compensate their lack of endowment with a huge ego.  There is a difference between big cock arrogance and small cock ego.  The small cock ego always directs attention to himself.  Big cock arrogance generally only becomes arrogant when others begin stroking their own egos.  There are also guys with small cocks who are actually really, really good in bed.  They are generally on the smaller end of average... not too small but definitely below average.  If you can find one of those, you're probably in for a very, very good experience.  Of course, guys of all sizes will vary in their personality based solely on how THEY perceive themselves.  Some guys think they're quite big when in reality they're average.  And some think they're average when they're really quite big.  It's all about how you feel about your cock, and believe me I can tell how big you are if I've met you.  Additionally, I really don't care how big you are or aren't.

5.  Every grindr (or other app/website) photo is the best possible photo of the guy.

There are occasional exceptions to this, but a vast majority of the time the guy will not look as good in person as on the screen.

6.  No one knows how to measure their cock.

This is another point about grindr and other apps/sites.  Everyone on them claims to have an 8, 9, 10, 13(??!) inch cock.  They don't.  Less than one percent of the population has a penis larger than 8 inches.  The average is 5.5 inches.  It does vary based on ethnicity, but keep in mind they are TENDENCIES and there are major exceptions in both directions.  

Ok here's how to measure yourself, if you're interested in actually knowing.  Take a ruler, one that doesn't have a lot of extra space prior to the first hash mark... there's usually a quarter of an inch before it starts measuring at 0''.  While standing, place the ruler on the TOP of your erect penis, pointing out from your body at a 90 degree angle (parallel to the floor).  Flatten any curve against the ruler and measure.  That is how long your penis is.  Measuring from the side or from somewhere in your sack isn't going to be a true measurement. It only goes inside someone as far as it can at it's shortest side... the top side.  So now that you know, quit lying about your size.  It's really unattractive.

7.  Size doesn't matter.

Well, I should say, size doesn't HAVE to matter.  The best sex I've ever had was with a guy who was considerably smaller than average.  BUT, he was so giving and so concerned with how I felt all the time, it was truly amazing.  If you're a top, size for you is just something to look at and to occasionally choke on.  Obviously something nice to look at as it bounces would be good, but it doesn't have to be a Van Gogh.  If you're a bottom, the largest cocks can actually do some serious damage if the guy they're attached to isn't careful.  Besides, hemorrhoids are no fun either.  If you're a bottom, girth may be more enjoyable than length anyways.  Or, very unenjoyable, depending on the guy.  Regardless of their size, go for the man with the good heart.

8.  The man with the good heart is the holy grail.

Empathy is highly highly underrated.  I don't care how physically attractive he is. I don't care if you can grate cheese on his abs or extrude Playdough stars from his ass, the empathetic man is the best man you can ever find.  He is the one that's thoughtful and kind.  He is the romantic, the cuddly guy, the one you bring home to mom.  He is the one you should want to keep for the rest of your life.  

9.  You don't need a man RIGHT NOW!!!11!!!

In fact, you don't NEED a man at all.  You want one, and sometimes that's a line that's easily blurred.  

I'm serious.  Get off grindr.  Right now.  Spending an evening on the app will not help you find Mr. Right.  If you spend more than an hour a day on dating apps you will not be the kind of person you need to be to attract Mr. Right.  Grindr and other apps are an addiction.  Really.  You become dependent on them for feeling good about yourself.  But, at the same time, as you use them you feel worse and worse about yourself too.  I'm not saying you should delete them necessarily, but spend the evening with friends, or go to a bar, club, or some sort of interest you have.  If you live in a gay friendly area, just go out.  Flirt in person.  It's much more fulfilling and has a much greater potential to end well.  But in the meantime, you don't need him NOW.  Jerk off and go about your day.  You're horny, not looking for a husband.

10.  Sex isn't the only thing that matters.

This is true in a relationship, but also true in your daily life.  If all you do is immerse yourself in grindr and porn when you get home, you're not looking for a husband, you're looking to get off.  See the previous statement.  You're just horny.  Save yourself eight hours after work and jerk off when you get home, and then go do something fun with friends or family.

11.  Attracting a good man is like catching a fish.

You have to be very patient.  If you reel him in too fast you will lose him.  But, reel him in too slowly however and he will break away.

12.  Mr. Right doesn't sleep with you on the first date.

He also doesn't sleep with you on the second, third... etc.  He gets to know you.  He shows genuine interest in you as a person.  When he looks at you, he isn't gauging how hot you are naked.  He's reflecting on how amazing you are as a person.  One of the biggest reasons he doesn't sleep with you on the first date is because he values more than sex.  A relationship built on sex is really just two fuck buddies having fun.  Mr. Right controls himself at first and builds a relationship on a deeper level before sex.  There's lots of sex to be had out there and new sex does have a lot of strong feelings surrounding it.  Intimate sex (sex had between two committed people) is even more fulfilling, but there's an in between time where eyes will wander to new sexual partners, if there isn't other non-sexual reasons why the guy doesn't want to stray.

13.  The guys with the longest fuses have had the most experience.  

There is a direct relation to the speed at which they cum and the number of times they've performed the given sex act.  It's not that the act becomes boring, but that sex is a very mental experience.  The reason you cum when you do is in your head.  You cum quickly because you're over excited.  You can't cum at all because you've conditioned yourself to be difficult (or your drunk and mentally can't focus.. again it's mental).  The most experienced guys can plan when they cum.  They can cum almost on command with an attractive partner.  Look for these guys.  As long as they're always safe, there's no risk involved with sleeping with a guy who's had a lot of experience.  In fact, I'd highly recommend it.  There's nothing worse than him shooting in thirty seconds and you sitting there and jerking yourself off as he cleans up, especially if he was fucking you or you were fucking him.  Then the fun's basically over and you might as well just have watched porn at home.  Also avoid drugs like molly and ecstasy when having sex.  They may make the sex amazing, but they will kill regular non-drugged sex for you.  The same is true of poppers.  You should, frankly, avoid all three regardless for a variety of reasons.

And finally...

14.  Guys lie.

They lie about their intentions.  They lie about their experiences.  They lie about where they were Saturday when they called off a date.  

The easiest way to chase away liars is to not give out.  Liars do not stick around if there is no sex.  If you want to find an honest guy, don't put out for a while.  See if he sticks around.  See if he continues to put effort into the relationship.  If he does, then he's a keeper.  If not, move on.  He's not going to be the one for you.  He's in it for the sex.