Some Happiness

Usually when I write it's about something I'm passionate about. Therefore, usually it's also to complain about something as it is now. Of course that's not all I am, but it does tend to be the most vocal part in this forum. After all, I'm rarely inspired to take the time to write about things that I like or that are going moderately well. And more so, rarely do things go so absolutely well that I feel compelled to write. Understandably, I come across as angry or cold or argumentative from time to time. Thusly then I would like to break up the unpleasantries... Enjoy.

Day 8 of 37

So I just tabulated the number of days for the first time this vacation and since I'm heading home (back) on the 25th, that'll be 29 more days. Not too too bad considering that summer consists of some 101 days. Oh well, I got outside today so at least now I'm in a bit of a better mood. When I'm not in a good mood, I tend to sulk and that doesn't help. So getting out into the real world helped. In the very least it was a change of scenery and that helped as well. Sunlight is always a positive in my book. Unfortunately I may not be seeing much more of it this break, other than the Wednesdays this month that I'll be heading back to tutor. (High school is still in session and I promised I'd help during finals period.) I've got to create my US History I curriculum for next semster as well as start on my US History II stuff as well. It'll be fun to finally teach but the work beforehand is sort of interesting and sort of irritating. Other than that I get to stress about applying to grad school. Of course, to teach one needs their M.Ed. (Masters of Education) and I do want to continue working with the program that I have been working with as an undergraduate. Of course, I have to apply and of course they could say no. That's particularly stressing me out, but I hope that if I get one more reference, when they get back to me, that I should be okay. It's the waiting time that is so stressful! If I don't get in here then I won't be very happy at all. Plus I'd have to go look for a job for next year, which I don't want to do, preferring rather to continue and finish completely my education before I turn into one of those older people wafting about the halls trying to recapture their youth. Frankly, I'd rather keep going at in now and then move on to the "real" world after if I can. Here's to hoping!

Cheers,
FFF
(29 more days!)

So, yup. Vacation, if I can call it that, is turning out just about the same way I thought it would. Fucking boring and fucking depressing. Oh yes, I'm going to bitch tonight. Fair warning. Here's what my day consists of here at "home": Get up around noon. Do nothing all afternoon except eat meals and watch TV. After dinner relocate to my room and surf the web until about 3 in the morning. Fun huh. Yeah right. There's nothing I want to do. No one here I'd want to be here with. And only about a half dozen people in the world that would make my life enjoyable. I know. Me me me. Well that's all that's here. Me. So it's not like I'm being dramatic or selfish. To be dramatic there has to be an audience and to be selfish there have to be other prospects. Quite honestly if I could sleep the next four weeks and if I didn't have things I needed to do in that time, I would do it in a fraction of a heart beat. Home sucks. Family sucks. Everyone else is doing their own things and I'm stuck here. I even have my car. Just no where to go. What a lousy way to spend my vacation. I shutter to think what life will be like after I graduate. Holy crap. This better not be all in the cards for my life. Talk about lonely! Goddamn it! That's all for tonight. I'm not in a writing mood.

FFF

1. Holiday Problems