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My Everything Philosophy

I hate philosophers. They make the world needlessly complicated. Read some of their ramblings and you'll understand what I mean. All of them needlessly complicate life and needlessly complicate the language that they use to convey it to give their position more assumed importance. You don't need to be a master linguist to be a philosopher. Isn't a philosopher just an observer who makes reasoned guesses? I think so. Will it sink or will it float? Autumn leaves--float. Check. ...Grandma in a Buick--hmm... sink. Who'da thunk it? ...Erm... excuse me a second...

...Where was I? Oh right. My philosophy about everything is that everything is blatantly simple. Sometimes things are so simple that we don't even realize them for what they are. Like for instance, George W. Bush is a braying jackass. Had we realized in 2000 that the desire to have a beer with one is synonymous with buffoonery, we would've saved ourselves a lot of trouble. Go figure.

In the end, the world is complex, but each piece of it is simple. If we look at the world simply we will find more answers, more accurately, than if we blow hot air up our own asses -- or vote for George W. Bush.
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