Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Coming Soon...
Well my internet's been acting up so until it's fixed there won't be anything new here. But it's supposed to be taken care of tomorrow, we'll see about that. I do have a couple ideas in the works. However, until the time comes that my internet is fixed, peace and fly free forever.
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
People (and Things) I Want to Get What's Coming to Them
George W. Bush
For crimes against humanity
Dick Cheney
For being embarrassed of your daughter
Ann Coulter
The least worthy of any New York Times Best Selling fascist bitches.
Robert Blake
We all know what happened
O.J. Simpson
We all KNOW what you did
Jerry Falwell
No one with your credentials should be allowed to influence our youth
Bud Selig
You are a detriment to baseball
Rush Limbaugh
Hypocritical bastard
Tiger Woods
Awh, you're beatable, why don't you go cry
The Rock
You suck at life, get over it
Barry Bonds
You are a detriment to organized sports. Move to Pakistan and put us out of our misery
Chef
You couldn't stand the heat, so you got out of the kitchen
Darth Chef
No, don't ease off him, he's stupid, don't sink to his level
Republicans
All I have to say is, 49-48, democracy has spoken
God
If He smote that many people, I say it's high time to get a little pay back
Katrina victims
They need fucking homes
Pedophile priests
You like sticking your hot rod up little boys asses, then let me ram a hot poker up yours too you disgusting fucking excuse for a human being
Pearl Jam
For support of just causes
Gay marriage
Freedom for all
Peace
A place for me to rest my head
Free time
If time weren't so free, they'd be a hell of a lot more of it
Family Guy
The Simpsons are greater on every level. They are what you could only ever dream to be
Internet Ads
I don't want to visit a dating website, so stop pestering me
Nascar
For allowing a car sponsored by the Church of Scientology to run on the minor circuit
Global Warming non-believers
The extinction of the polar bear, penguin, and arctic fox, and changing weather patterns
For crimes against humanity
Dick Cheney
For being embarrassed of your daughter
Ann Coulter
The least worthy of any New York Times Best Selling fascist bitches.
Robert Blake
We all know what happened
O.J. Simpson
We all KNOW what you did
Jerry Falwell
No one with your credentials should be allowed to influence our youth
Bud Selig
You are a detriment to baseball
Rush Limbaugh
Hypocritical bastard
Tiger Woods
Awh, you're beatable, why don't you go cry
The Rock
You suck at life, get over it
Barry Bonds
You are a detriment to organized sports. Move to Pakistan and put us out of our misery
Chef
You couldn't stand the heat, so you got out of the kitchen
Darth Chef
No, don't ease off him, he's stupid, don't sink to his level
Republicans
All I have to say is, 49-48, democracy has spoken
God
If He smote that many people, I say it's high time to get a little pay back
Katrina victims
They need fucking homes
Pedophile priests
You like sticking your hot rod up little boys asses, then let me ram a hot poker up yours too you disgusting fucking excuse for a human being
Pearl Jam
For support of just causes
Gay marriage
Freedom for all
Peace
A place for me to rest my head
Free time
If time weren't so free, they'd be a hell of a lot more of it
Family Guy
The Simpsons are greater on every level. They are what you could only ever dream to be
Internet Ads
I don't want to visit a dating website, so stop pestering me
Nascar
For allowing a car sponsored by the Church of Scientology to run on the minor circuit
Global Warming non-believers
The extinction of the polar bear, penguin, and arctic fox, and changing weather patterns
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Internet Jargon and Whatnot
I can't believe I actually used the word "whatnot". Damn, now I hate myself, but let's just keep moving...
You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of internet jargon. LOL, GTG, G2T, L8R, ur, TTYL, TY, ASL, WTF, BF, GF, LMAO, LMFAO, GG, GL, GS, BS, ROTF, ROTFL, ROTFLMAO, ROTFLMFAO and those are just the uppermost tier of them in my view. I especially love the ones that I have to think about for a minute.
In my opinion, if LMFAO explains exactly how you're feeling at the moment then by all means use it, but I don't know how it could, I can't even pronounce that shit. Lem-fowh?
Regardless, if you mean to say ROTFLMFAO, I think that the situation warrants the use of the actual words. I mean this is a once (maybe twice) in your lifetime occurrence! For god's sake say it like you mean it.
--------------------------------------------------
FlyFreeForever: Hey Gus, right now, seriously man, I'm rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off! I just hope my ass doesn't go that far, I'm going to need it to take a crap later, if not the contents therein beforehand to take my calculus test. Talk to you later. I have got to go find my ass!
--------------------------------------------------
Hmm, that would be a nice one: TTYLIHGTGFMA. Now I'd even use that one.
Did you ever notice that when these internety pricks start with the LOL crap that they seem to be doing a hell of a lot more laughing than is normal for the average sane person? Four, five, six, seventy times in a conversation! They're laughing every other line, and that other line is yours! You're not that funny! It takes someone with the IQ of that grape flavored popsicle that you found in the back of your freezer in the middle of this past February to limit themselves to only one reaction to everything you say.
--------------------------------------------------
FlyFreeForever: ...and I says to the man. No YOU go fuck yourself!
PretentiousAsshole: LOL!!! LOL1! LMFAO!!!!!!!!
FlyFreeForever: But other than that, my day's really sucked. My great-aunt died this morning in a car accident.
PretentiousAsshole: ROTFLMFAO!!!!
FlyFreeForever: Dude! It's not fucking funny! It took six hours to ID her she was such a mess.
PretentiousAsshole: Haha LOL!
FlyFreeForever: Dude! Go fuck yourself! I sit here and tell you that my great-aunt....
PretentiousAsshole: LOL
FlyFreeFoever: FUCK YOU! I'M LEAVING!
PretentiousAsshole: TTYL
*And so on*
--------------------------------------------------
I've probably said this before, but would someone please give that asshole a fucking thesaurus! Or maybe it's that they're TOO busy with the other twelve people they're "chatting" with that they can pay attention to my dead family member! That's like calling me, setting the phone down on the table and going to watch television, occasionally shouting in acknowlegement. And I know there are people who do that. They're the same fucking person as the internety pretentious asshole! Maybe instead of watching TV they're online in their parents basement with fifty or sixty of their closest friends, listening to you, while folding laundry, finishing their chemistry homework, and listening to the ballgame on the radio or finding the cure to AIDS or cancer. These are the same exact people who also interrupt you while talking on the phone because they have an "incoming call". Hey, fuck them I was here first! It isn't Jesus on the other line, call them back while you're doing your chemistry homework will you!
When it comes right down to it, I don't care if someone uses it every now and then. Casually drop in a TTYL in the middle of a statement, sure at least I know that the conversation is just about over. But you know why these things were developed right? No? It's for those people who think themselves really great for being able to carry on eight or nine fucking conversations at the same time! It's these pretentious assholes, who want to seem to you the onlooker as if they're SO damn important. It's networking! It's what we're all supposed to be doing. Hands across America! Fuck that. The only networking I want to do is at sea. And at least that way, I get to eat too, instead of just bloating up on a false sense of self-worth.
You know what I do when I'm playing a round of 9-Ball with some pretentious internet-jargon-using asshole and they start with the ASL's?
I answer! Oh yeah I do! But then I add a little jargon of my own...
--------------------------------------------------
PrententiousAsshole: Hi
FlyFreeForever: [sigh...] Hey
PrententiousAsshole: ASL?
FlyFreeForever:63, tranny, Burkina Faso
PrententiousAsshole: [silence....]
FlyFreeForever: TKDKS?
PrententiousAsshole: ???
FlyFreeForever: TKDKS? THY? LLO?
PrentetiousAsshole: huh?
FlyFreeForever: LDL? TYDK?
PretentiousAsshole: [...leaves game]
--------------------------------------------------
That shuts them up real quick. OR, they try and be a smart ass and start answering with indiscriminate words like "yeah" or "err, dunno" or "LLO! POTL! YOD?"
But I've got them beat. I never said I speak English! Then the real fun begins. Boy do I love to fuck with pretentious internety assholes. You have no idea! Once in a while, I'm really surprised however, they actually play along, not just stumble along blindly in the dark as the masked axe-wielding maniac draws nearer and nearer to ending their pathetic little lives, but really plays along. When I find one of those glorious assholes, bitter as I am, and equally (if that is possible) cynical, then hell yeah I'm game. You rack; I crack. Let's get the fuck going!
But as we all know, for every wonderfully humorous Anon there's five hundred billion other assholes. I suppose it's such in just about everything. Too bad, I'd really like to meet someone who truly understands my humor. Then the real fun would begin.
You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of internet jargon. LOL, GTG, G2T, L8R, ur, TTYL, TY, ASL, WTF, BF, GF, LMAO, LMFAO, GG, GL, GS, BS, ROTF, ROTFL, ROTFLMAO, ROTFLMFAO and those are just the uppermost tier of them in my view. I especially love the ones that I have to think about for a minute.
In my opinion, if LMFAO explains exactly how you're feeling at the moment then by all means use it, but I don't know how it could, I can't even pronounce that shit. Lem-fowh?
Regardless, if you mean to say ROTFLMFAO, I think that the situation warrants the use of the actual words. I mean this is a once (maybe twice) in your lifetime occurrence! For god's sake say it like you mean it.
--------------------------------------------------
FlyFreeForever: Hey Gus, right now, seriously man, I'm rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off! I just hope my ass doesn't go that far, I'm going to need it to take a crap later, if not the contents therein beforehand to take my calculus test. Talk to you later. I have got to go find my ass!
--------------------------------------------------
Hmm, that would be a nice one: TTYLIHGTGFMA. Now I'd even use that one.
Did you ever notice that when these internety pricks start with the LOL crap that they seem to be doing a hell of a lot more laughing than is normal for the average sane person? Four, five, six, seventy times in a conversation! They're laughing every other line, and that other line is yours! You're not that funny! It takes someone with the IQ of that grape flavored popsicle that you found in the back of your freezer in the middle of this past February to limit themselves to only one reaction to everything you say.
--------------------------------------------------
FlyFreeForever: ...and I says to the man. No YOU go fuck yourself!
PretentiousAsshole: LOL!!! LOL1! LMFAO!!!!!!!!
FlyFreeForever: But other than that, my day's really sucked. My great-aunt died this morning in a car accident.
PretentiousAsshole: ROTFLMFAO!!!!
FlyFreeForever: Dude! It's not fucking funny! It took six hours to ID her she was such a mess.
PretentiousAsshole: Haha LOL!
FlyFreeForever: Dude! Go fuck yourself! I sit here and tell you that my great-aunt....
PretentiousAsshole: LOL
FlyFreeFoever: FUCK YOU! I'M LEAVING!
PretentiousAsshole: TTYL
*And so on*
--------------------------------------------------
I've probably said this before, but would someone please give that asshole a fucking thesaurus! Or maybe it's that they're TOO busy with the other twelve people they're "chatting" with that they can pay attention to my dead family member! That's like calling me, setting the phone down on the table and going to watch television, occasionally shouting in acknowlegement. And I know there are people who do that. They're the same fucking person as the internety pretentious asshole! Maybe instead of watching TV they're online in their parents basement with fifty or sixty of their closest friends, listening to you, while folding laundry, finishing their chemistry homework, and listening to the ballgame on the radio or finding the cure to AIDS or cancer. These are the same exact people who also interrupt you while talking on the phone because they have an "incoming call". Hey, fuck them I was here first! It isn't Jesus on the other line, call them back while you're doing your chemistry homework will you!
When it comes right down to it, I don't care if someone uses it every now and then. Casually drop in a TTYL in the middle of a statement, sure at least I know that the conversation is just about over. But you know why these things were developed right? No? It's for those people who think themselves really great for being able to carry on eight or nine fucking conversations at the same time! It's these pretentious assholes, who want to seem to you the onlooker as if they're SO damn important. It's networking! It's what we're all supposed to be doing. Hands across America! Fuck that. The only networking I want to do is at sea. And at least that way, I get to eat too, instead of just bloating up on a false sense of self-worth.
You know what I do when I'm playing a round of 9-Ball with some pretentious internet-jargon-using asshole and they start with the ASL's?
I answer! Oh yeah I do! But then I add a little jargon of my own...
--------------------------------------------------
PrententiousAsshole: Hi
FlyFreeForever: [sigh...] Hey
PrententiousAsshole: ASL?
FlyFreeForever:63, tranny, Burkina Faso
PrententiousAsshole: [silence....]
FlyFreeForever: TKDKS?
PrententiousAsshole: ???
FlyFreeForever: TKDKS? THY? LLO?
PrentetiousAsshole: huh?
FlyFreeForever: LDL? TYDK?
PretentiousAsshole: [...leaves game]
--------------------------------------------------
That shuts them up real quick. OR, they try and be a smart ass and start answering with indiscriminate words like "yeah" or "err, dunno" or "LLO! POTL! YOD?"
But I've got them beat. I never said I speak English! Then the real fun begins. Boy do I love to fuck with pretentious internety assholes. You have no idea! Once in a while, I'm really surprised however, they actually play along, not just stumble along blindly in the dark as the masked axe-wielding maniac draws nearer and nearer to ending their pathetic little lives, but really plays along. When I find one of those glorious assholes, bitter as I am, and equally (if that is possible) cynical, then hell yeah I'm game. You rack; I crack. Let's get the fuck going!
But as we all know, for every wonderfully humorous Anon there's five hundred billion other assholes. I suppose it's such in just about everything. Too bad, I'd really like to meet someone who truly understands my humor. Then the real fun would begin.
Monday, May 29, 2006
The Enlightenment
History classes teach us that The Enlightenment happened in Europe and the United States (the U.S to be, that is) between the 1500's and the end of the Industrial Revolution. I believe that this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I believe that The Enlightenment is still going on today. And today it's leaders are social liberals.
True in the 1789 all men were created equal, but it wasn't until 1865 that black men were included, and 1921 until white and black women were included. And still after that point we had segregation, race riots, the KKK, and to this day anti-gay movements.
But I think we are about to reach the top of the mountain on this one. Thankfully, it's been nearly 500 years. In time we will learn to accept the rights of those different from us in all their aspects. We won't look away when a black man or gay couple walks down the street. We won't have need for words like nigger and fag. Someday soon we will see that Arab is not a reason to kill. Neither is race, religion, orientation, sex, age, mental capacity, or ideas.
I do hold out hope for civilization, perhaps we can look beyond the color of our skin, our religions, our differences really and realize that in the end we are all people. And people all deserve the same respect and dignity that you have.
My only hope is that I live to see this come true. Then I will be happy.
True in the 1789 all men were created equal, but it wasn't until 1865 that black men were included, and 1921 until white and black women were included. And still after that point we had segregation, race riots, the KKK, and to this day anti-gay movements.
But I think we are about to reach the top of the mountain on this one. Thankfully, it's been nearly 500 years. In time we will learn to accept the rights of those different from us in all their aspects. We won't look away when a black man or gay couple walks down the street. We won't have need for words like nigger and fag. Someday soon we will see that Arab is not a reason to kill. Neither is race, religion, orientation, sex, age, mental capacity, or ideas.
I do hold out hope for civilization, perhaps we can look beyond the color of our skin, our religions, our differences really and realize that in the end we are all people. And people all deserve the same respect and dignity that you have.
My only hope is that I live to see this come true. Then I will be happy.
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