101 Days

There are 101 days left to this vacation and already I'm bored silly. Go figure, I know. They, who ever they are, say that vacation is a time for rest and relaxation, but I'm more relaxed when I have something to keep me entertained. Work doesn't really bother me that much, not compared to having nothing to do whatsoever. It gets you moving, keeps you on the ball if you will. Nothing, it keeps you tired and bored and stupid. So tomorrow I'll go find something to do to keep me occupied at least for a little while. Only when there is motivation is there progress, and only with progress do we find greater motivation.

Vacation is nice when it's about a week or so. It's just enough time to lie around and do nothing, thinking about the stuff you've finished since the last time you've sat around thinking about the stuff you've finished since the time before. There's no time for other activities, if there was I'd bet that vacation wouldn't be that fun. A week is all that I need.

Last summer my only goal was to get in touch with who I was, to answer for myself those pesky little questions that everyone has but rarely has the time to think about in detail. Well, I did it. All summer I thought and thought about myself. What it means to be me. What it means to feel. What it means to exist. What purpose I could have. Etc. Etc. All those absurdly rhetorical questions that bug the hell out of every bored person.

To make a long story short: I answered most of those questions, but in the end came up with more questions that I couldn't yet understand or solve. So, I was back to square one. Just great. Just what I needed. So, was it worth it? Sure, analyze away. It's good for people to come to a greater understanding of who they are and what their purpose is. (Etc. Etc.) But don't think that the questions will ever stop. They don't. But that which you gain along the way should be the prize not the destination.

I've got a long while again this year, and while I'm not particularly planning on spending it all thinking about the great new questions that I have, I'm sure a part of the summer will tend towards that. And, at least this time I won't be annoyed when I leave with more pressing questions than I came in with.