A Vast Majority of People Are in Fact Completely Undateable

This goes exponentially true about gay guys.  I don't even think gay guys know how to date anymore.  I think that they were robbed of this ability when they were shunned from society.  Many even believe that to date is to betray their gayness and enter into a "heteronormative" pattern of behavior.  I see this very frequently in the unattractive as well.  Straight or gay.  Those who are unattractive cling to the fringes of society and seek out increasingly risky and dangerous ways of finding sexual pleasure.  Both groups become needy and sex-crazed.

Being shunned from society has a lot of negative effects on the ability of gay men to commit to relationships.  Even those most unaffected by these negative effects (ie, generally those who seem straight or else those who can stick up for themselves or have others to stick up for them very well) still seem to slip into these patterns as most of the people they look to date follow these patterns and it's easy to accept that this is the only way to find happiness.  Of course, happiness is never found.

Dating websites and clubs provide the biggest outlets for this kind of sex-driven behavior.  It reinforces what society tells people they should do.  And in turn, it kills most chance of them ever being truly happy.  Gay guys are always looking for that exception, the guy that is different than the crowd.  Unfortunately, most often, the guy himself is exhibiting those qualities and wouldn't attract a guy out of the norm anyway.  So everyone gets stuck in a vicious cycle caused by their shunning from society.

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I don't talk about myself frequently, it seems kind of in poor taste since if you're reading this you're probably here more to hear my ideas than hear me moaning about my life.  Well, maybe I'm going to moan a little, feel free to stop reading here though and pick up again on my next post. 


I'm coming to a point in my life where I'm sick and tired of the bull shit that gay guys have put me through and that I have put myself through for relationships with gay guys.  And no I'm not going to try to be straight.  Umm... hell no.  I'm just done settling.  And I don't mean that in a hurtful way.  I'm just done with the drama.  The chaos.  The empty feeling after sex.  I want a meaningful relationship with a guy I can respect and feel good about.  That's not to say I haven't had this in the past, it's just to say that I want this in the future and forever.  I want to meet a guy that I respect and that makes me feel tingly in my heart instead of just in my pants.

The Future of Space Travel

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Doomsday

Throughout history there have been hundreds if not thousands of predictions for the end of the world, yet it hasn't happened.  Everyone knows the silly 2012 Mayan doomsday assumption.  There are so many doomsday's throughout history, is it not surprising that people still fall for this stuff?  Perfectly (otherwise) sane people are looking to 2012 as some sort of end game.  This is truly ridiculous.

I, for one, think that the world will not end in some blinding flash.  If man disappears it is vastly more likely to our own stupidity than anything else.  This itself though, I equally find very unlikely.  It is against our nature to kill ourselves.  Nuclear warfare?  It probably won't happen.  And if it does, it probably won't be on a level that will kill end the species..

I think that we will continue on in one form or another.  Considering how far we have come in the past hundred and fifty years, and considering the pattern of technological advancement we have undergone during that period, I'm not sure that we will recognize what we will be if we indeed were able to see it.  No doubt, however, we will progress in either the short or long run.  The issues of overcrowding, corruption, greed, and so on that we see as pains for the mid-term future will not impact us as a species.  While these issues may impact some of us or most of us, they will not consume all of us in such a way that will inhibit progress in the next 100 years into the next 1000.  Of this, I am certain.  Man expects as a species a certain level of progress, with the general diversity of thought in the world, we would be hard-pressed to find any number of causes that together could end progress or halt advancement never mind a single issue.

Make Something of Me

I took all the right paths.  Good grades in high school.  Very focused.  Went to college.  Graduated.  Went back and graduated with a Master's degree.  I always did well in school.  I just "got it".  I was fairly well liked.  I tried to be a good person.  And so on.

That's taken me to a dead end.  No one wants to hire me.  No one.  There are no jobs.  None.  For all the preparation and hard work, there is nothing.  Sometimes I sit here and wonder what there actually IS for me.  What is there?

What am I the best at?  We're always told that everyone has a talent.  We see them all the time.  Actors, athletes, musicians, etc.  People with undeniable talent in something.  Well what is my talent?  What in me will make me happy?  

I sit on my ass all day, surfing the web and doing nothing.  I work sure, but it's a bullshit job.  Overworked, underpaid, disappointment is my new middle name.  What is there for someone who did everything they were told they needed to do to reach that platform above which all are successful and below which I currently reside?  What course of action can I take if all previous courses of action have led to nothing?

It's not so bad to fail at something, but to fail at THE thing?  My career path ends at a river with no bridge.  I can walk as far up and downstream as I want, still seeing my goal on the other side, but I'm unable to reach it.  There is no bridge.

 And what am I good at anyway?  Maybe I win a moral victory with "good at hardworking" but moral victories don't cash out into real victories.  And, I've tried several different roads too.  Education, management, writing, music...  All failures.  What is there left for me? I don't feel "good" at anything anymore.  I don't feel like I have a place in the world.  Am I doomed to shitty job after shitty job until I curl up and die?

How can I make something of myself if everything I've done so far has led to absolutely nothing?  Where do I even start?