I Do Enjoy the Vagaries of Life

Whenever it rains on a sunny day,
Whenever night sweeps noon away,
Whenever your dreams are delayed,
And fate lets come whatever may,

Remember that it happened -- my way.

Monopoly Part 2: What Would Life Be Like If It Were a Game of Monopoly?

Now that I think of it, I think I've stumbled across a Bill-O talking point. That's Bill-O not Jell-O, although I hear that they are both comprised primarily of bone dust, corn syrup, and food coloring...

Regardless, let's take a look at Monopoly. It's a very socialist game if you think about it. You start out with $1500. Imagine that. $1500 for nothing. It's just given to you, by the bank, the central governing authority. And everyone gets the same amount! Wow-wee! What a deal!

Then there's GO. Every time you pass GO you collect ANOTHER $200! For what? Don't ask me.

And just when you need it here comes Community Chest! A local slush fund for your spending needs!

What about Luxury Tax and Income Tax! Profit sharing! 10% or $200 for Income Tax. $75 for the Luxury sort! It's criminal! And you know that everyone lands on Income Tax more often. They plan it that way some how! They must! Who ever lands on Luxury Tax? Only the rich! Of course! Who's ever heard of a poor person losing their last cents on Luxury Tax? Doesn't happen!

Then there's Free Parking and it's bastard cousin Just Visiting! Who's ever heard of free parking. It's almost communist to me! Imagine a government run facility interfering in your private lives. Fuck no! And Just Visiting! Imagine! Criminals getting cordial visiting rights! NEVER! It's not about rehabilitation. It's not about fostering the desire to turn one's self around and become a part of society again. NO! It's about seclusion and punishment!

Then there's all the railroads! They all cost the same! How could they? Surely not in a real society. We can't have poor railroads subsidized by government! It's an unnecessary tax on the wealthier stops! The property values aren't worth the same! Who would want to travel through the Purples and Light Blues! Honestly one's Chinese even! They should just knock down all of those tenement houses and make room for my new mini-mall! Eminent domain! It's for the good of society!

And to cap it all off, look at the subliminal message that Monopoly gives to our kids! When you get all of one color or utility the rent DOUBLES! Imagine the audacity that these people have telling us that prices would go up if someone holds a corner on the market! BAH! Prices would surely go down with greater export capacity, streamlined ventures, and greater centralization! Only a fool would say otherwise!

So that's what it is. Monopoly! A bunch of SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA!

Where's it going to end! Won't someone please think of the children!

Monopoly Part 1

It's hard sometimes keeping faith in mankind, but you know that every now and then if we look hard enough we can find something that sort of proves to us that no matter how fucked up this world gets somewhere someday everything will be alright.

Monopoly is one of those sort of universal experiences that we all have and something therein I believe is very bolstering in the faith department. Say we've been playing for a while and most of the properties are out. And you know, some of the players have houses and hotels by now and others are just barely hanging on, playing the dice version of Russian Roulette every time they turn the corner after Marvin Gardens.

It's a really cutthroat game too sometimes. An "in it to win it" mentality if I do say so, but I digress. Very competitive. Sometimes dangerously so in fact. But you know after the dice are rolled and your fate is set in stone, Pacific Avenue and that big old red roofed inn, you don't balk out of your responsibility. I sure don't. So we lose everything. Whoop-dee-do. There will be other games. It's not that important after all.

I'm not going to launch a stealth attack on their Light Blues. No one does. You pay the person. There's no debate. There's no bullshitting Mr. Moneybags. It doesn't work that way.

Imagine... A board game doesn't work that way. Wouldn't it be nice if real life worked that way from time to time. A little honesty in practice. A little responsibility. Even a six year old cops to having rolled that seven and landing on your hotel. They don't deny it. They don't pretend to miscount. They don't threaten you. Or bully you. Or otherwise try to convince you to otherwise drop your rental fee. It doesn't happen.

Oh what would life be like if we played it a little more like Monopoly?

Requiem

I don't know how to begin to describe the impact that George Carlin had on my work and on my life. I suppose that's as good a start as any come to think of it. Regardless, he taught us to laugh at all the bull shit that society was founded on and to tear it down piece by piece. Politics, religion, social mores, the whole lot. He taught us that laughter was as powerful a weapon as any and that to live life successfully one must not take it all too seriously. It's the serious ones that you have to look out for. The serious people are the ones that cause all the trouble in this world, if I may borrow a concept. He taught us that when life kicked you in the balls to kick it back in kind.

His was a labor of love. What good is it to live if one does not love what they do? And, his observation will be missed by the fringe Left. His foresight was a burden that he bore for more than 50 years, 22 albums, hundreds of television appearances, and thousands of shows. He taught us to look at the world differently, to escape from vested interest and see society for what it is, for the most part self-serving and viral. His words spoke to generations. They transcended age. It will be a cold dark day when his message finally disappears into the void.

If there is anything at all that he has taught us it would be to question. Question law. Question religion. Question tradition. Question life. Why do we do this? Why do we think this? What is in it for you? What do they really mean? Read between the lines. Politicians and liars are not mutually exclusive of one another, the opposite is closer to the truth. Everyone has a means to their end and executes on this means to the best of their ability.

I wonder though what he thought as he lay in the hospital bed fighting to remain conscious, a coma and then death quickly on the horizon. What could he have thought? I suppose questions of mortality are best left to the dead. How could we know anything about the action.

In the end what matters is that we know that society is presently fucked. In George's own observation we must change two things if society is to come to anything close to a happy ending. We must abolish religion, which makes us feel unworthy and makes us feel others unworthy. And we must rid ourselves of consumerism and materialism. We are the diggers of our own graves through pollution or nuclear war; we drive ourselves into poverty buying lotto tickets and cable TV; we kill each other in the name of primacy. With these two concepts, mankind is doomed. He said it. We know it. And yet, it continues.

All hail one of the greatest philosophers to ever have lived.

George Carlin you will be missed.

-FFF

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George Carlin died at 5:55pm on June 22nd 2008 of a pre-existing heart condition. Before now I didn't know how I wanted to address this issue and now that it is done it seems so inconsequential. It's difficult to describe the concept behind George Carlin and his life's work. Perhaps, it is just better to proffer an example of it. It is to him that I dedicate this blog and all of my work therein.