The human mind is a duality. That is to say, there are two people inside most people's heads. It is the interaction of these two entities that determines who you are.
The first is the sum total of all of your experiences, it is a body of knowledge that you reflect on when thinking or meditating. It is not the consciousness that we traditionally think of as our mind. It's behind that. It's the voice that alters your mood, makes irrational fears float to the surface in times of stress, and ultimately has a significant impact on you as a person.
The second is your consciousness. It is the core of you as a person. It is the voice you hear in your head when thinking or reading this sentence. Some do not have that voice, incidentally. For instance, those that are born deaf often have that "voice" represent as images. Others simply don't have it. This voice is the real you. It's the part that you internally recognize as YOU most of the time.
Both of these two parts must live in harmony if you are to be happy and well. But they don't always. Sometimes, past trauma so colors the first part that it bleeds over into the second. The first can affect your mood positively or negatively. Often we see it when it does so negatively. To find happiness, contentment, harmony, you have to come to terms consciously with the trauma loaded into the memories of that first part of your brain.
I find myself sometimes sitting in my own head realizing that the actions I'm taking outwardly are wrong yet still do them. Sometimes we let that first part take control, especially in times of stress or difficulty. We can all think of times we've knowingly did stupid things but did them anyways.
To move forward, that trauma needs to be identified and addressed. An abuse victim with detrimental behaviors, for example, can't stop taking those actions without addressing the trauma in their past. Ultimately they need to understand that they are safe, loved, and free from those past conditions.
For others, the examples are slightly different, but still need to be addressed similarly. Identify the problem, address the triggers of those issues, communicate with yourself and others when those insecurities are triggered causing a negative response, and ultimately forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being strong enough, for the mistakes you've made in the past. Accept yourself. Love yourself. And be kind to yourself even when that other voice isn't so kind.
At any rate, those are just a few thoughts spinning around my own mind this evening. As a mental activity for anyone reading, take some time in your own head and try to find the separation point between your conscious self and that voice crying out about your past experiences. It takes time, but you can actually find it. We often take for granted that everything in our own heads is "us", but some of it is just an melding together of past experiences expressing themselves on your conscious self.
Good luck!
