Suspension of Disbelief

Usually when I write it's about something I'm passionate about. Therefore, usually it's also to complain about something as it is now. Of course that's not all I am, but it does tend to be the most vocal part in this forum. After all, I'm rarely inspired to take the time to write about things that I like or that are going moderately well. And more so, rarely do things go so absolutely well that I feel compelled to write. Understandably, I come across as angry or cold or argumentative from time to time. Thusly then I would like to break up the unpleasantries... Enjoy.

So I just tabulated the number of days for the first time this vacation and since I'm heading home (back) on the 25th, that'll be 29 more days. Not too too bad considering that summer consists of some 101 days. Oh well, I got outside today so at least now I'm in a bit of a better mood. When I'm not in a good mood, I tend to sulk and that doesn't help. So getting out into the real world helped. In the very least it was a change of scenery and that helped as well. Sunlight is always a positive in my book. Unfortunately I may not be seeing much more of it this break, other than the Wednesdays this month that I'll be heading back to tutor. (High school is still in session and I promised I'd help during finals period.) I've got to create my US History I curriculum for next semster as well as start on my US History II stuff as well. It'll be fun to finally teach but the work beforehand is sort of interesting and sort of irritating. Other than th...

So, yup. Vacation, if I can call it that, is turning out just about the same way I thought it would. Fucking boring and fucking depressing. Oh yes, I'm going to bitch tonight. Fair warning. Here's what my day consists of here at "home": Get up around noon. Do nothing all afternoon except eat meals and watch TV. After dinner relocate to my room and surf the web until about 3 in the morning. Fun huh. Yeah right. There's nothing I want to do. No one here I'd want to be here with. And only about a half dozen people in the world that would make my life enjoyable. I know. Me me me. Well that's all that's here. Me. So it's not like I'm being dramatic or selfish. To be dramatic there has to be an audience and to be selfish there have to be other prospects. Quite honestly if I could sleep the next four weeks and if I didn't have things I needed to do in that time, I would do it in a fraction of a heart beat. Home sucks. Family...

So I've created an audio-blog sort of thing out of Youtube. The link is below... Audio Rants Enjoy.

Facebook uses keywords from your profile to decide what ads you see in the ad bar. I saw this one today. Is there a single reason why I should find this funny? I think not.

So Facebook is stupid... Here are the ads I've gotten lately on the righthand banner that I think are idiotic and clearly not meant for me. Enjoy... And my absolute favorite so far...

Undoubtedly there isn't a person alive who harbors more hatred to vacation than I do. I'm finished with my work. I get to go home, see my family, relax without a care... Except that there are cares and they revolve around my family. I am not myself at home, and I use that term loosely. Home that is. I have to be something else because what I am inside and out isn't quite welcome. Maybe it's only in my head. Maybe I imagine looks of grief and dismay when the perfect son doesn't turn out to be perfect in its accepted definition. I gave up long ago the things that they value. I don't care about traditionality . I am not proper. I am not conservative. I do not believe that I should shun parts of what I am because others believe them to be wrong or incorrect or foolish. In many ways I am everything that they dislike. I am an atheist. I am gay. I am utterly liberal. I am brutally capable at defending myself in argument. And I do not respect them. Th...

It's funny sometimes how the things that I want to talk about hit me. Sometimes it's completely out of the blue and I have to find a pen and paper to leave myself a note so that I can push it from my mind and focus on whatever I need to do first. Ideas seem to come in spurts, two, three, six at a time. Sometimes I'll write something down and completely forget what it means later. I can't begin to tell you how annoying that is. Other times pressure builds in my mind. It builds and builds and I can't do anything at all. Like a foot asleep I cease to function until I post something. When I began this endeavor more than three years ago, I didn't plan anything. I didn't think it would get this large or this far. I didn't think it wouldn't either. It never really crossed my mind. It was a stream of sanity in a sea of nonsense. I have to attribute the longevity of my postings (as I tend to be reasonably disinterested about doing things that don...