Taking Away Safety: The Biggest Threat to an Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles

The biggest internalized fear of an anxious or avoidant attachment style person is getting hurt.  Both grew up and experienced in their childhood a significant trauma that shaped their subconscious view of what love is.  Each person has been conditioned by their upbringing to fear losing love because love was seen as conditional to them during their childhood.  By this I mean that some trauma during their childhood has left them subconsciously thinking that all love is only given unreliably, with conditions, or else otherwise isn't unconditional.  Generally, this fear comes from unreliable or unstable parenting for a variety of reasons, abuse at home, parents who divorced and didn't maintain a healthy stable environment for their children, and even something as common as poverty can be causes of this, but it is highly individualized for each anxious or avoidant person.

As a result of the aforementioned trauma and subconscious belief that love is conditional, the subconscious of this individual both craves stable love and fears losing it.  Their upbringing has taught them that it is conditional and their subconscious mind as an adult constantly scans their friendships, relationships, etc. for signs of that love being taken away.  Sometimes, perhaps the scan is right and someone in a friendship/relationship is pulling away.  However, most of the time, the subconscious incorrectly identifies something completely different as an example of pulling away love.  I will first explain what I mean and then why it is important.

For example, you and a friend of yours spend a lot of time together, maybe more than you had before; you've begun to get very close.  You're enjoying the connection greatly as you don't make those type of connections easily or often.  Yet your subconscious mind is scanning the entire time looking for signs that your past experiences are repeating, and that that love from your friend is going to be taken away.  Your subconscious mind is trying to protect you from hurt, just wanting you to be safe.  

Unfortunately, when the subconscious mind misfires and identifies a behavior as someone you love pulling away from you, it enters fight or flight mode to protect you.  Just the same as you might fend off physical blows from an actual attack, it tries to fend of the blow of losing your friend to protect you from harm.  As an example, a friend doesn't show up to plans at the planned time (or at all perhaps), doesn't apologize for doing, perhaps even downplays the importance of this action to you.  Ordinarily, with an average connection, this would be annoying but wouldn't trigger fight or flight.  But, the closer someone gets, the greater the threat your subconscious mind sees in their potential behaviors towards you.  That is, the closer someone is the greater you fear them leaving, and therefore the greater the sensitivity of your subconscious to possible signs of that love being taken away.  And, it's a feedback loop.  I'll get to that in a moment as well.

For an anxious attacher like myself, when you get close to someone, your subconscious fears escalate because the likelihood of you being hurt if they leave increases greatly.  This is also true for an avoidant.  The only difference between the two attachment styles is the result.  The anxious attacher moves into "fight or flight" mode and picks fight.  They are going to fight to maintain that connection by pulling you closer, being too demanding of your time, being unreasonable in their requests for closeness.  For an instance where someone is actually pulling away, this signals them to run.  For someone who isn't, this leads to confusion, hurt feelings, and then often also the signal to run.  

For the avoidant attacher, they are feeling a lot of internalized fear that love will be taken away as well.  They too scan for signs of it.  And when they find it, real or imagined, they flee to protect themselves.  They subconsciously rationalize that the pain of losing someone now will be much less than the pain of losing them later.  Their fight or flight leads them to flee the connection as a solution to their fears, whereas the anxious fight to keep the connection.

Additionally, as I said, this fear is stuck in a feedback loop.  The closer someone gets, the tighter you hold to that fear and the greater it's impact becomes.  You might even recognize that you're likely going to self-sabotage the connection even before you do.  But the closer they get, the greater the fear and the greater the fear the higher the sensitivity of your subconscious mind's scans for a loss of that connection.  Eventually the subconscious mind justifies it's fears on real or false actions by the other person, and the anxious fights for the connection and the avoidant flees it.  These actions are particularly intense when the connection is between an anxious and an avoidant person.  Both are constantly subconsciously scanning to determine their safety in a connection and both can and likely will find some reason to fight for that connection (anxious) or flee it (avoidant).  When this is triggered, the  anxious pulls the avoidant closer, often demanding more time with them, begging them to stay, questioning them for their actions, fearing the worst.  The avoidant in this situation does in fact pull away, because they feel this behavior is unreasonable (and it typically is).  When the avoidant pulls away, the anxious attacher's subconscious mind sees this as justification for how they act and triggers your brain to pull them closer even harder.  This causes the avoidant to pull harder away, hence a feedback loop.  Both are triggering each other now.  Eventually either the anxious is going to be so unreasonable that the avoidant leaves entirely, or the avoidant will pull away so much that the anxious becomes unreasonable and the avoidant pulls away entirely regardless.   Either way, unrecognized for what is happening for both parties, the connection will end as a result of one or both of their actions.  It's only a matter of time.

The connection ends because one or both parties no longer feel safe in the friendship or relationship.  They feel that the risk of getting hurt is now the most likely outcome of this friendship or relationship.  In fact, for the avoidant in particular, the perceived loss of safety in a connection will lead them to pull away.  For either party, this loss of safety can be caused by many actions: arguments are a huge cause of this, but also one party threatening to end the friendship or relationship if their needs aren't met is another huge reason.  When a connection is no longer felt as safe, both party's subconscious minds are working to end the connection to protect themselves, even the anxious attacher even though they don't want it to end.  Part of the anxiety caused for the anxious is a result of conflicting thoughts.  The subconscious mind wants to end a connection because they're afraid to be hurt again and the conscious mind craves that connection and while they also fear losing it, will cling to it using any means necessary because the conscious mind of an anxious attacher is mortally afraid of losing that connection too.  Unfortunately, when this level of anxiety is reached, the connection is usually damaged beyond repair and falls apart.

The anxious attacher finds safety in the connection with a trusted person that they've actually let into their hearts, as friend or romantic partner.  The avoidant attacher finds safety in solitude.  They would rather have no connection rather than constantly fear losing it.  For either party, when the safety of that connection is challenged, by fight, or emotional trigger, or even just the closeness itself, their subconscious minds look to find a solution.  The anxious cling to the connection and the avoidant push away from it, both to protect themselves from hurt as I've said.  

Taking away safety in one of these connections is the linchpin to the connection being unintentionally ended.  Both the anxious and the avoidant as I said, are fighting a fear of losing that love.  When the safety of that connection is no longer seen as certain, the subconscious mind of both parties moves into the fight (anxious) or flight (avoidant) mode that I previously mentioned thus dooming the connection.

Everything above leaves both the anxious and the avoidant EXTREMELY unhappy.  The anxious loses the one thing they're afraid to lose and the avoidant pushes away the one thing they don't want to lose to protect themselves.  Both party's subconscious minds feel justified in their actions, because to them the ends justify the means.  "I told you so."  "They were going to leave you and I was right." "They were crazy and going to hurt you."  These are just some simple examples of the thought processes that happen and that reinforce the subconscious mind's self-destructive fears.  In short, you feel justified in being afraid to lose connections and that trauma-induced anxious or avoidant attachment style is strengthened and maybe justified not only in the subconscious mind but also now in the conscious mind as well.

So what can be done?  It's clear that self-sabotaging close connections isn't beneficial to you as an anxious or avoidant attacher.  You will still crave that connection and still lose it, time and time and time again.  You have to break the feedback loop and change how your subconscious mind thinks.  I talked a little about that in the last post and I will go into greater detail in the future in my next post as well about how to do that.  For now however, it's important to recognize the role that safety plays in this process.  Anxious and avoidant attachers both constantly subconsciously weigh the pros and cons of a close connection to protect themselves.  Safety is the biggest pro that most connections have.  "I feel safe with them." That thought outweighs a ton of fears and keeps you in a functioning friendship or relationship.  Conversely, one or more party removing that feeling of safety through their actions is the single biggest trigger that will doom that connection.

The anxious feels that the other removes that safety but withdrawing, being less communicative, not being where they said they'd be for plans they've had, increasing time between texts or replies, mood changes, and many other similar triggers.  The avoidant feels safety is removed when the anxious clings to them or worse, has a temporary break, during which the anxious might block them on social media, remove them from their lives, shout at them and argue with them unfairly, and then come back later begging forgiveness.  This instability is overwhelming for the avoidant, who sees these actions not as a struggle in the anxious's mind spilling out onto them, but as a purposeful attack on them (the avoidant) which triggers them to feel that safety was taken way and causes them to sever the connection.

In each the anxious and avoidant, the loss of a perception of safety dooms the connection.  Each clings to the idea of safety in the connection to justify it continuing despite feeling an increasing level of fear of being hurt as each gets closer to the other.  When that safety is taken away, there's no justification in either's mind for continuing the connection.  The avoidant leaves.  The anxious clings to the connection out of fear, driving the other away anyways.  Either way, the connection ends due to fear because safety is no longer a justification to stay.

Next time, I will dive into methods of combatting this self-sabotage.

Anxious and Avoidant Attachment

Every single person attaches to others in one of four mostly specific ways.    Attachment itself refers to how you bond with others:  be it friendships, familial bonds, or romantic/sexual relationships.  The four types of these attachment styles are:  secure, fearful, anxious, and avoidant attachment.  They can also simply be categorized into secure attachment and insecure attachment styles.  I am mostly going to talk about two styles:  anxious and avoidant as they're relevant to my life currently.  It's important to note that attachment styles can change throughout your life, but usually only due to large life events or intentional work on your specific type.

Your initial attachment style is formed early in life, between birth and about 7 years old.  These formative years play a huge role in the attachment style that you will have for the rest of your life (or at least until you identify it and work to change it).  There are many things that can impact your attachment style, however all of them are directly related to your homelife.  If you have a secure, loving family environment, you will end up with a secure attachment style, barring any extraordinary event that may shape you otherwise.  An example of that would be sexual assault, bullying at school, death of someone close to you, etc.  Major negative life events.  

Barring negative life events, the relationship that your parents have plays a HUGE role in the attachment style you develop during these years.  A stable loving environment creates a stable, secure, attachment style.  An unstable environment, due to unreliable love from your parents, a hostile home life, parents who fight or do not show love to each other (etc.) all contribute to creating an insecure attachment style in a child during their formative years.  This style often doesn't present itself until much later in childhood, but can sometimes be seen even then.  Children in these situations are subconsciously taught that love is conditional and if you don't meet those conditions, whatever they may be, you are not worthy of love.

Insecure attachment styles come in three versions as I previously mentioned:  anxious, fearful, and avoidant.  In the most basic terms, each of these styles is marked by the action the individual takes when encountering a close attachment with another person, be it friendship, relationship, or familial.  The fearful person avoids all attachments for fear of rejection.  They will not engage people socially and often come off as very skittish or socially awkward.  Similar, but different, is the avoidant.  Avoidant people DO seek and want attachments but when they get them, often contradictorily try to avoid them.  And finally, anxious attachment people become very anxious as attachments become closer and tend to cling to them instead of pushing them away (the opposite of the avoidant style).

For the sake of this discussion, I will not be talking about the fearful attachment style, but only focusing on the anxious and avoidant styles as they pose an interesting set of opposites worth some look at.  They are also the two that have most directly impacted my life in recent memory.

In both anxious and avoidant attachment type people, at some point in their formative years their subconscious learned that love is conditional.  Some people learn that if they aren't "good" that love will be removed by their parents, some come to see punishment for not being "good" as proof that they aren't worthy for love later in life as well.  Others have difficult homelives due to relationship issues between their parents.  A parent or parents who is/are cold to their partner or checked out of that relationship or who struggle with an insecure attachment style themselves will pass that on to their child in their formative years.  The impressionable child sees their method of love as being the way love is.  So if love is distant, conditional, or otherwise unstable, the child will internalize that feeling and it will come up as part of their subconscious as an adult in their own relationships.

In my case, I grew up in a home with parents who fought nearly constantly and never constructively.  Verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse was common.  Love was conditional in my home based on if I was a "good child" or not sometimes.  And, growing up I had zero positive examples of a functioning romantic, loving relationship as my parents' definitely was not.  Over time, this caused me to internalize love as being conditional or something that can be "taken away".  As I grew older, this subconscious understanding of love turned into an insecure attachment style, specifically an anxious attachment style.

What does this mean?  This  means that subconsciously I believe that any attachment I made (friend, romantic partner, or familial) is based on an somewhat unknown set of conditions.  I would know that as a child affection was given for good grades for example.  And, mental, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse was given for bad grades.  So grades became a condition of receiving love subconsciously.  Bad grades triggered a negative reaction, therefore as a child I always sought to be perfect in everything I did, because all children want love and bad grades led to less love.  That is a very basic example but it illustrates my point well.  This perfectionism was triggered by negative reinforcement as a child.

Sounds harmless right?  Everyone wants to "do well".  Except that's not the case.  Not doing well, in anything, can trigger the same reaction, even today.  It triggers the feeling of worthlessness and can, if unchecked damage my mental health.  

I used the word "trigger".  There are other triggers that pop up from time to time as well.  They are mostly "tangent triggers", in that the action isn't directly related to a negative experience, like bad grades, but that the subconscious classifies them as "bad" and therefore feels that love will be withdrawn when they occur.  Additionally, these triggers become stronger when there is more "at risk".  Friendship, familial, and romantic relationships will all be referred to as "relationships" going forward just to make things easier as they are all impacted equally by your attachment style.  The closer a relationship becomes (regardless of type), the sharper a trigger can be "triggered".

Why are triggers sharper the closer you get to someone?  This is really important.  Someone with an insecure attachment style (anxious, fearful, or avoidant), has a deep set internal fear that love is conditional as I've mentioned.  When you love someone more or deeper, you subconsciously realize that you have more to lose.  That deep set internal fear bubbles up to the surface and often times you "self sabotage" the relationship.  I'll get to that later.  The point is, when you are insecure in your attachment, you become increasingly fearful of losing it.  Your subconscious mind is there to protect you, and it tries to warn you of threats based on your previous experiences.  That is a good thing, unless your subconscious mind has the wrong information, which in this case it does.  It perceives love as a risk, a very frightening risk whereby you can be seriously damaged.  

As a result of a misfiring subconscious mind, the anxious person clings to relationships when they perceive even the SLIGHTEST negative change in the relationship dynamic. When a trigger is "triggered" our anxiety skyrockets and causes us to do self or relationship destructive things.  Typically overreacting at the other person is the biggest example of this, otherwise starting fights, excessive clinginess or a few other activities can happen.  Essentially anything that seems to show that the other person is pulling away (simulating love being conditional) causes a negative reaction in an anxious attachment style person.

The very same thing is happening in the mind of an avoidant style person.  However, there are a few big exceptions.  First, the avoidant often doesn't realize what's happening, even during counseling.  Many, but not all avoidant people simply avoid thinking about the topic all together as it causes them to trigger.  Anxious people also trigger in these cases as mentioned, but we tend to also be over-analyzers as well.  We can come to terms with what is happening in our heads much easier.  Avoidants subconsciously try to avoid that thought process and fearful attachment people completely avoid it out of fear.  This is not to say any one is superior or worse than the other, just that anxious attachers tend to also be overthinkers, which sort of helps them in this area to an extent (and harms them in other areas).

Additionally, avoidant people, while the insecurity does bubble up in their minds just as it does for the anxious, they have an opposite reaction to it.  When a friend or partner gets close they push them away to avoid the possibility of getting hurt if things don't work out, while the anxious does the opposite and pulls closer for the exact same reason.  That's the difference between the two.  95% of the process is the same, but they come to different solutions to escape the fear of getting "too close" to someone even when they consciously might want to be close to them, even intensely.

Both anxious and avoidant attachers CAN maintain friendships/relationships to an extent.  Both can find success pairing with secure attachment type people.  The secure person will reassure the anxious and let the avoidant have space as needed without negatively impacting the connection.  A problem does arise however if avoidants and anxious attachers make an initial connection.  This is the final thing I want to touch on here and the one that most directly impacts me in my life.

As I mentioned, I have an anxious attachment style.  In the recent past I connected VERY well with someone with an avoidant attachment style.  The friendship was fun, energizing, uplifting and something I looked forward to literally every single day, even if we weren't hanging out that day.  The thing is, over time we did get very close.  We spent basically every day together at one point, for maybe 5-8 hours each night.  It seemed at first, amazing and ideal.  But both of our attachment styles would kick in as we got closer.  

In general, avoidants need to have space to themselves sometimes to recharge and decompress.  That can happen while spending time with other groups of people, but often needs to be alone.  Certain actions can trigger a faster response as well.  This is normal for them.  In those instances, an avoidant may disappear or "ghost" their friend.  But in reality it isn't that simple.  Typically it starts with the avoidant pulling back and socializing less with their friend/partner.  When they might have initiated activities in the past, they only follow along to activities now.  Where they might have texted or called first, now they only respond.  These actions are taken to lessen the subconscious fear that they have of letting people get too close to them for fear of being hurt.  Essentially, consciously or subconsciously they need to recharge and decompress.  If they don't get that recharge, it can manifest in avoiding the other person, not answering messages at all, or even ghosting them entirely if it gets bad enough.  The avoidant person has subconscious fear of losing love in the back of their mind that increases as someone gets closer to them, to the point that it outweighs their desire to be close to them and they push them out to protect themselves.  This need to protect themselves is rarely rooted in fact, often just learned behaviors from their formative years.  The child had an unreliable source of love growing up.  The adult mirrors that onto all future friendships/relationships.

In general, anxious attachers are exactly the same, except that instead of pushing away their friend/partner, they pull them closer and cling to them.  Instead of ignoring them, they text bomb them.  They get frustrated by a perceived lack of closeness that may not actually exist and overreact.  This often leads to arguments and emotional outbursts.  They may get so anxious that they self-sabotage the attachment, breaking it and leaving.  They can't handle the anxiety and/or don't understand it, and do anything they can to stop it.

As I've mentioned, anxious and avoidant attachers are exactly the same except that their solution to the problem (fear of loss of love) is the exact opposite.  This means that when a connection is between an anxious attacher and an avoidant attacher, shit can hit the fan really really fast and hard.  In those situations, an anxious attacher notices a change in behavior from the avoidant which signals to them that they are withdrawing their love.  This could be taking a longer time to answer texts, avoiding their calls, or just simply the tone they have randomly one night.  The trigger is also usually completely false.  It MAY be real, in that the other may be withdrawing a bit, but typically it isn't.  In these friendships/relationships the avoidant may also be triggered by the perception that the anxious is getting too close, too close too quickly, or otherwise that they may fear losing them because they realize that they've come to value them greatly and are afraid to lose them.  Ultimately this will result in the avoidant withdrawing from the friendship a bit or in total.

The withdrawal of an avoidant from an anxious attacher will cause the anxious attacher to grasp hard at the friendship/relationship because they are mortally afraid of losing it, which causes the avoidant to pull harder away.  This causes the anxious to again pull harder.  It's a feedback loop.  In the end, both piss each off so badly that something breaks.  The anxious may blow up at the avoidant.  The avoidant may completely cut the anxious out of their life.  Both happening simultaneously is most common.  Both are reacting with fear over losing what they perceive as conditional love that they both overreact and destroy the friendship/relationship to try to find peace in their heads.

This pattern will happen again and again, regardless of who the attachment is to.  There is hope though.  Both the anxious and the avoidant (and the fearful) CAN rewrite their subconscious mind into learning a secure attachment style in which they will be confident in their friendship/relationship and in which nothing will trigger that fear reaction I spoke about.  They have to want to though.  An avoidant may rewire themselves and walk right into an anxious who didn't and the anxious may still wreck that friendship/relationship.  An anxious may rewrite themselves, but an avoidant may still leave as a friendship/relationship gets closer.  Equally, it is much more difficult to migrate to a secure attachment style when not currently dealing with an attachment.  It's very easy to think you've mitigated fear when you have nothing that your subconscious mind used to fear in your life.

The fact is, to rewrite your subconscious idea of "conditional" love into one of "unconditional" love, you have to be challenging yourself in a close friendship/relationship.  When that fear percolates, you have to recognize it, describe it to yourself, and mitigate it.  But it has to percolate for you to rid yourself of it for good.  You need to separate emotional thought from logical thought.  This is easiest done when two people are are attached communicate openly and honestly about how they are feeling.  This is profoundly easier for the anxious, who often overthinks and overshares emotions anyways.  And it is much more difficult for the avoidant, who often will just want to avoid the topic all together.  However, when two people, who are close, make a concerted effort at changing their subconscious fears, they CAN be changed.  Both just have to want to.

If both do want to change to a secure attachment style, both have to first recognize for themselves what trauma in their past caused this subconscious thought to begin with.  For me, that was child abuse which made love feel conditional.  Both then also have to recognize what triggers them to feel fear and what the fear feels like when they are experiencing it.  Avoidants often feel overwhelming mental pressure and/or panic from a trigger.  I, as an anxious, feel extreme anxiety.  When both can realize what triggers them, they can recognize the resulting feeling as it's happening.  Taking a step back and focusing to neutralize these feelings at this starting point will stop their negative impact on the other person.  Discussion after the fact, calmly with the other about the trigger is helpful.  Having a watchful eye from a trusted friend/partner in these situations does help greatly in reducing the result of the trigger on their friendship/relationship.  Recognizing that negative result in your friend/partner's actions also can help on your own end.  If you recognize that the the anxious definitely doesn't mean to blow up at you or the avoidant definitely still cares about you even when they take a lot of distance, the friendship/relationship can and will continue to prosper.

Eventually, both the anxious and the avoidant need to come to terms with their fears.  They need to address them and overcome them.  Eachother can be a source of encouragement and support in those situations, but often both aren't able or willing to do so.  So it can be a crapshoot.  Rewiring your subconscious takes a lot of effort.  It takes longer alone, but it is also still possible.  At the end of the day though, that trauma from childhood impacts the insecure attacher greatly and impacts every one of their close relationships until it is addressed properly.

For my part I work daily now to fix my anxious attachment style.  I use journaling as I enjoy writing.  I reach out to others and talk about how I feel.  But I'm also just open and honest with myself.  I don't judge myself for being this way.  It isn't my, or your, fault.  But we can fix it.  We can be happy.  It just takes work and courage.  

Talking it out here, is actually one way I've been working on it myself.  Here are a few sources that might hit home for you.  I don't endorse any product, just figure out what works for you.

An honest look at anxious attachment:  

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPaIl3YkTv1/?igsh=MW82dmI2bDR2dDV3cw==

An honest look at avoidant attachment:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPWvz-BET28/?igsh=YWF3bnE2MWUyeGpj

Resources:

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/anxious-attachment/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/

https://psychplus.com/blog/how-to-manage-and-fix-anxious-attachment-styles-understanding-triggers-and-solutions/

https://www.eyemindspirit.com/

My Own Mind

The human mind is a duality.  That is to say, there are two people inside most people's heads.  It is the interaction of these two entities that determines who you are.  

The first is the sum total of all of your experiences, it is a body of knowledge that you reflect on when thinking or meditating.  It is not the consciousness that we traditionally think of as our mind.  It's behind that.  It's the voice that alters your mood, makes irrational fears float to the surface in times of stress, and ultimately has a significant impact on you as a person.  

The second is your consciousness.  It is the core of you as a person.  It is the voice you hear in your head when thinking or reading this sentence.  Some do not have that voice, incidentally.  For instance, those that are born deaf often have that "voice" represent as images.  Others simply don't have it.  This voice is the real you.  It's the part that you internally recognize as YOU most of the time.

Both of these two parts must live in harmony if you are to be happy and well.  But they don't always.  Sometimes, past trauma so colors the first part that it bleeds over into the second.  The first can affect your mood positively or negatively.  Often we see it when it does so negatively.  To find happiness, contentment, harmony, you have to come to terms consciously with the trauma loaded into the memories of that first part of your brain.

I find myself sometimes sitting in my own head realizing that the actions I'm taking outwardly are wrong yet still do them.  Sometimes we let that first part take control, especially in times of stress or difficulty.  We can all think of times we've knowingly did stupid things but did them anyways.  

To move forward, that trauma needs to be identified and addressed.  An abuse victim with detrimental behaviors, for example, can't stop taking those actions without addressing the trauma in their past.  Ultimately they need to understand that they are safe, loved, and free from those past conditions.

For others, the examples are slightly different, but still need to be addressed similarly.  Identify the problem, address the triggers of those issues, communicate with yourself and others when those insecurities are triggered causing a negative response, and ultimately forgive yourself.  Forgive yourself for not being strong enough, for the mistakes you've made in the past.  Accept yourself.  Love yourself.  And be kind to yourself even when that other voice isn't so kind.

At any rate, those are just a few thoughts spinning around my own mind this evening.  As a mental activity for anyone reading, take some time in your own head and try to find the separation point between your conscious self and that voice crying out about your past experiences.  It takes time, but you can actually find it.  We often take for granted that everything in our own heads is "us", but some of it is just an melding together of past experiences expressing themselves on your conscious self.

Good luck!

My Last

 My previous post was found as a blank page in draft form this evening.  I found the existence of it to be rather poetic.  So I published it blank as is over a year later.  Seems fitting to be honest.