Thursday, November 26, 2015

Visiting Family for the Holidays

In case you haven't seen my previous posts on the issue in past years, I can't stand visiting "home" for the holidays.  Any holiday.  Frankly, even for an afternoon.  My parents are of course equal parts insane and meddling, like most parents, but they are also very homophobic.  Due to this fact, visiting them is at best mildly frustrating and and worst catastrophic.  If you know me, you know that I don't change who I am for others.  Ever.  No exceptions.  I am who I am and if you don't like it, tough.  That's not to say I'm a terrible person or anything.  Most people enjoy my company.  The problem with family though is quite pronounced.

I've reached the point in life where I'm looking for a good man to start a (obviously monogamous) relationship with, settle down with, start a family and a life with, etc.  At the same time, that potential man would never be welcome in my parents' home.  I could never show him where I grew up, my childhood bedroom, the trees I climbed as a kid.  I could never have him meet my parents. 

It makes me very sad that I can't share this part of my youth.  It's not that I had an amazing childhood--perhaps frankly the opposite sometimes.  But, it is part of who I am and it is where I came from.  I would want my future husband to be able to experience those things, share in my life story fully, but they can't.

I don't need my parents' validation for my future husband.  I really don't care if they like him or not.  I do care however what this potential love of my life thinks though.  I would want him to be able to see the whole me.  I would want for myself and for him for my life to come full circle, to see where I came from and the man I've become today, to see the full picture.  

Simply put, I'd want to share everything with him and I can't through no fault of my own or his.  This becomes even more poignant if he can share that part of his life with me.  It makes me disappointed and embarrassed for my parents.  I live my life openly and happily, it's difficult to come into contact with the opposite in their house.

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