If there is only one thing you know about dating, sex, relationships, love, the whole gambit, know this:
You receive that which you project.
Scenario:
Every guy that expresses interest in you that you are attracted to is an asshole. They're all looking out for their own sexual needs, and while you're looking for a relationship and something serious, all they want to do is play.
Every guy?
Seriously though, sometimes we feel this way. Sometimes we feel that every guy with which there is mutual interest is WRONG for us. Regardless of what we're looking for. Maybe you're looking for guys that want to hook up and you keep finding clingy relationship type guys. Or possibly (and frankly more likely) the opposite, you want a relationship and the only guys that seem interested in you want your dick and nothing else. I've been there, you've been there, we've ALL been there at one point or another.
Why?
As I said previously: You receive that which you project.
If every guy that seems interested and that you're interested in wants a fuck buddy, and you want a relationship, this is the reason. You're projecting yourself as wanting a fuck buddy. Consciously or subconsciously in your actions, you are sabotaging yourself.
When you talk to a guy, and he wants to hook up, and you think that if you're really good in bed, he'll change his mind and stay around, you're fooling yourself. When he expresses a desire for a relationship and all you want is sex, he won't put out, or at least it will turn into an emotional cluster fuck after you try to separate yourself from him.
The good news?
There is good news! Look at the guys that you are attracting. Do they fall in line with what you're looking for? If yes, then great! You've got the best possible chance of finding the right guy for your desires. If not, you're projecting, or in other words, giving out the wrong signals.
Guys are not mind readers. If you act like a slut in the way you flirt, you will only attract sluts. (No offense to genuine sluts! You rock!) And if you act less sexual you tend to attract people looking for a relationship. Guys who want relationships don't go after guys who act like sluts. Why? Simple. If you're looking for a relationship and this guy, NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTIVE(!), acts like a slut and comes on to you like they're looking for sex, you're going to brush them aside. Likewise, if you come after sex as a guy looking for a long term relationship, you're going to attract only those looking for a long term relationship. Guys looking for casual sex will not look first to the guy who comes across looking for something serious. Of course, if there's no one else around they may still come by. But even if you're looking for casual sex, if you're projecting relationship potential, and they still come for you, maybe you just want to sit this one out. Think about the morals that person has. Probably not worth any self-respecting slut's time.
Conclusions:
If you want a relationship, make sure you're projecting those signals, both consciously as you speak with guys, but also in the way you flirt and the way you approach guys. Relationship seekers don't like the casual sex seeker regardless of how hot they are.
The same is equally true for the opposite. If you're looking for casual sex, project that when you meet guys. Be open and honest. Casual sex is not a bad thing. It helps us discover what we like and who we want. Some of us only want casual sex, and that's great, but some do move on as well, and you should respect that desire as well.
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