Saturday, August 25, 2007

Letter to the Editor

Monday, January 21, 2009
Dear Department of Misplaced Items,
I hope that this letter finds you well. I, unfortunately, am not so well. I seemed to have misplaced a few household items. I would not be bothering you about them, if it were not for the fact that I assumed they would have turned up by now. I hope that you can help me locate them; they are of vital importance, and I have reason to believe that they have been stolen from me.

I approach you not without trepidation however, as I know your legendary ability to find lost objects, and too the complexities of your department to which occasionally one can contribute the lose of ones own self. But too, what I have lost track of is equally legendary, difficult to recover, and perhaps more so invaluable.

You see, dear sir or madam, that I seem to have lost my rights, and I cannot for the life of me understand where they have gone to. The situation has become grave, oh finder of misplaced items, for just yesterday, upon questioning my own kin as to the location of my rights, I was shocked to find that they did not recall my ever having rights. Indeed, they seemed a bit standoffish about the whole idea, as if I had uttered some dirty epithet.

I know that you are busy kind sir, genteel ma'am, so if undertaking my loss is too great at this time, I will certainly understand. If even a hundred others have lost that which I have, then you must be quite busy. Perhaps you could simply explain to me a few things regarding my loss in the hopes that such a thing need not happen again...

Why, kind person, does it seem that rights are such a scarce commodity? I should surely think that everyone would like at least a few. They seem so able to multiply. Yet, we lose them so easily. We do not fight to keep them safe from thieves and bandits. Quite frankly, I am baffled as to why this could be.

Why do we let our rights lie around gathering dust? Why do we shun those who wear their rights proudly? Why do we belittle their causes when, you see, they are fighting for all people's rights? It seems they do us a great service. Why then are they deemed dangerous? Crazy even? Was our great nation not built by people just like them?

And finally, my friend, I have noticed a new trend that I thought, if you do not already know of it, that I should tell you about. As of late, it seems that many people have been set to trade in their rights for material goods or monetary gain? They tell us that it brings us safety, but I cannot believe them. Safety from what exactly? What use is safety if we have not the rights that this safety is supposed to protect?
Thank-you for your time,
Guy Crestfallen
Monday, August 25, 2009
Dear Guy Crestfallen,
Thank you for your expressed interest in contacting the Department. However, due to reasons concerning national security, your rights have been transferred overseas to compel others to see our vision of democracy and our core Christian values and will not likely return soon, or realistically in the same shape that you had left them.

It is with greatest regret that I inform you that your rights are being, not sold off onto another, but that your government has seen the need to force them onto them. It is as if they do not want them. They are confused and need to be shown the light. But there is consolation for you. Perhaps you would like to participate in our Rights' Exchange Program (REP). We have many old sets of our new friends' rights now, the same as they have yours.

Please allow me to review the package deal before you decided... I know how much you loved your freedoms, but they are in short supply amongst our new allies and we simply cannot spare them for everyone. However, in lieu of speech, press, petition, assembly, and a few others you have likely already forgotten, which are in the shortest of supply, you will receive the freedom to practice the new Christian state religion and the right to the safety promised by your illustrious and benevolent Commander and Chief, the great American President, George Walker Bush.

Fear not change good sir. In time you will come to miss your old rights less and less and become accustomed to your new better ones. You probably cannot remember them all anymore anyways and certainly you cannot recite them word for word or understand the sheer context of everything that was haphazardly and foolishly promised oh so many years ago.

Just know that your government is looking out for your safety by sending your rights overseas. When this time of extraordinary crisis ends, trust in your government to allocate you a new set of rights. Do not worry, patriotic citizen, remain silent to our enemies' condemnation of your Great Leader and hold your head high for you are doing it for the betterment of our free society.
Rest assured honest patriot,
The Department of Unnecessary Items

Monday, August 6, 2007

A Foggy Future

My waking hours are blistered with terror this and war that. Fear. We live in a world where fear dictates our every move and our every decision. It wasn't always this way. In 1941 FDR reminded the American people that they had nothing to fear but fear itself. And sixty years later we forgot.

Benjamin Franklin once wrote "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." He knew too what FDR spoke of, that we cannot live our lives in fear and we cannot do things in haste because of fear.

The Bush presidency is littered with mistakes of this sort. And it is the future that will pay. I will not speak of the numerous and wide ranging violations of essential liberty that we've made. I will not speak of the fear that has gripped this nation, particularly in its heartland, where attacks are in the very least more unlikely than in urban America. These atrocities have been listed elsewhere, and as I'm sure there are others we've yet to uncover, I'll save my ramblings for a little while longer on those topics.

However, I do wish to speak of one thing. Independent thought. No matter what rights are stripped of us with the aim to defeat terrorism abroad, however that works, we still have our Independence. We are able to reason. We must reason. We must ask questions. It is our duty to question authority.


Authority is meant to be given to those who have our best interests at heart. It is to be used as a means of protection. This is government. However, from time to time we must understand that the government becomes cancerous to the people it represents and there must be turn over. However, sometimes such fatal flaws appear in the answers we discern that drastic action must be taken to alleviate this country of undue and possibly fatal harm.

There is a means to do this that is both legal, and indeed the patriotic duty of ALL Americans. Impeachment. There are those out there who say that it isn't right to use such drastic powers. Indeed there are others who claim that what has been done to this country over the past six and a half years has been for its benefit. As for the former, I can only ask if you are willing to endure in the next year and a half, what has transpired in the past six? Further, to those who believe that the last six and a half years have benefited us, I ask you to move to Canada. You are a cancer to freedom. You are a cancer to democracy. You are a cancer on the soul of America.

It's time that the grown-ups step in and take the reigns. It's time to ground the disobedient child not to leave him standing nude with batteries attached to his extremities and a bag over his head. It's time for adult solutions. Explanations and apologies. Humility and shame. Because we should all bear that shame. Each and every one of us who believed in this cause should feel shame for the actions that we've undertaken over the past six and a half years. And, the rest of us should feel shame for letting you do it. I believe in your own words, "pride goeth before a fall". And you've been far too prideful in what you call a just nation. We owe the world an explanation. We need to tell them why we did what we did. Why we really did it. Not some bullshit politicking, the real answer. And then we need to apologise. We need to beg forgiveness for ever soul we've killed, for ever family we've hurt. We need to apologise for breaking international law. And, somehow we have to find a way to make up for it.

This nation needs to grow up. It's been in the rebellious teenager stage for far too long. If we are going to last as a society, we must confront our own consciences and our national conscience. We have to learn to coexist. We have to learn to become a contributing member of the world society. We must do it soon. Every day that passes the cancer grows and soon this nation, which was founded on such great ideas, will succumb to an early, yet heartily asked for death. We have very little time to save ourselves. And we have even less to save what our country once was for it's being rewritten as we speak.

The key is knowledge. But the tools are everything at our disposal. And we all need to contribute. No longer can we allow our authority figures to take advantage of us. We must be knowledgeable; we must be alert; we must be persistent.

Do not fear what is to come. Fear only that we won't have the courage to correct ourselves. Continuing down the path we are on leads only to doom. We must be courageous.